


wanna be somebody (to someone)

by starryharry



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Bottom Harry, Fake/Pretend Relationship, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Misunderstandings, Smut, Strangers to Lovers, Top Louis, harry is kinda shy and says um a LOT, kind of.. more like a contract relationship, louis is the sweetest and always wants to make sure harry is comfortable
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-02
Updated: 2020-08-02
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:48:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 30,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25671580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starryharry/pseuds/starryharry
Summary: Harry tells Niall he's seeing someone. (He's not). The lie leads Harry to Louis, and an honest confession drives them into a one-month relationship that changes everything.
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Zayn Malik/Liam Payne
Comments: 46
Kudos: 322





	wanna be somebody (to someone)

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for coming to read my second ever fic !!! i hope you enjoy it. if you read my first one, then there's lots of similar style and whatnot. but it's also very different than OSWS !!! 
> 
> this is basically just me indulging myself again..... but hopefully you can find a way to relate, too !!!! :)
> 
> title is from song someone to you by BANNERS !!!!!
> 
> tumblr is [lt2soon](https://lt2soon.tumblr.com/)

OCTOBER 3RD

Harry comes home from his last class of the day and empties his books from his backpack onto the floor. He pulls out his laptop and settles himself in front of the couch.

“Harry?” Niall calls from the kitchen, voice loud enough to be heard over the running water of the sink.

“Yeah!” Harry calls back from his spot on the floor.

A moment later, the water turns off and Niall walks into the living room, then flops down on the couch beside where Harry’s sitting.

Harry knows the exact conversation that is about to take place. Without fail, Niall asks the same question every Friday night. Or at least, some version of it. 

“Harry, why don’t you go out tonight?” 

_There it is._

“Because I need to study.” Harry doesn’t look up from his laptop, where he is attempting - unsuccessfully - to write an essay. The least he can do is pretend. 

“But don’t you ever think about meeting someone?” 

This is ironic coming from Niall, who has never been in a committed relationship. He’s had short flings and one night stands, but never anything that lasted. 

_Is that what you mean when you say ‘meeting someone’?_

Harry thinks very carefully. He answers the same question, week after week. Always feeling like he needs to explain himself. But as he thinks about how he’s never questioned Niall’s relationship choices, he decides it’s not fair that he is cornered every weekend about his sex and love life. 

“I have thought about it, and I actually did meet someone.” Harry closes his laptop, aware that this lie is going to require his full attention. 

Niall jumps off the couch excitedly and towers over Harry. “What?” He exclaims, followed by many more questions. “When? Why didn’t you tell me sooner? Who is he?”

Harry stands up and realizes he should have thought about these potential questions before making the impulsive decision to lie to his best friend.

“Well, it’s pretty new so that’s why I didn’t tell you yet. Just taking it slow and seeing how things go.”

“That’s incredible!” Niall grins wide and slaps Harry’s shoulder. “What’s his name?”

Harry shifts his eyes towards the doorway, and the bag he thrifted earlier in the week catches his eye, hanging on the coat rack. 

“Uh,” he looks back at Niall and hopes he doesn’t turn around to see what Harry was looking at, making the same connection in his head. “His name is Louis.” 

As long as Niall doesn’t look at the bag with the huge Louis Vuitton symbol marking it, this might work. 

“No way, you’re dating Tommo?”

Harry doesn’t process the words that just came out of Niall’s mouth. 

“What?”

“Harry, that’s amazing. Good for you. Louis is such a stand-up guy. Real cute, too.” Niall winks. “See, if you wouldn’t refuse to come to all of my games, maybe you guys would have gotten together sooner.”

Harry doesn’t say anything. 

_Oh shit._

_Oh… shit._

_Oh. SHIT._

He didn’t expect Niall to actually know someone named Louis. 

Curiosity flashes across Niall’s face. “How did you guys meet anyways?”

“The library,” Harry answers far too quickly, digging himself in deeper, even though he knows it’s the details that will help make it all blow up so much easier. “It was full and there was one spot open and it was next to him. I asked if I could sit there and that was it.”

_Why are you still talking???_

“Huh,” Niall laughs. “Didn’t know Tommo even knew where the library was.” 

Harry laughs, just to make matters worse, apparently. “Yeah, he made that joke actually. When we were there.”

“Well, we should go see him!”

“What.” 

It doesn’t even come out like a question. Harry knows this cannot happen. His brain still hasn’t fully caught up. 

_How am I going to get myself out of this?_

“No,” he sputters, before Niall can say anything else. “We really don’t need to.”

“Come on, man. It’s almost nine now, which means he’ll be finishing up his group training right away. We can meet him on the pitch and then I can scold him for not telling me, either.”

_I guess I’m not getting out of this._

Harry knows he is about to find himself in an extremely embarrassing situation; apologizing profusely to Louis, who he doesn’t even know, for implicating him in such a trivial lie by accident, and begging Niall to never mention the whole thing ever again.

Yet still, he follows Niall to the front door and slips on his shoes, heading out to meet Louis for the first time.

**

“Hey, there he is,” Niall gently nudges Harry as he waves out onto the field, then calls out to someone, “Tommo!”

The person who must be Louis turns around. 

Harry’s breath hitches in his throat. Niall was right; he _is_ cute. The fringe sweeping across his forehead and the piercing blue eyes right below. Small shoulders with collarbones that look like they could cut glass. 

“Nialler!” Louis smiles and waves back.

Niall looks over at Harry expectantly, waiting for him to say something. 

“Hey, Louis,” Harry says softly, hoping he can’t hear.

Louis looks confused, but nods his head in Harry’s direction anyways, smirk on his face as he turns back to his practice. 

Niall turns to Harry, waggling his eyebrows at him. He heads to sit on the bleachers and Harry mindlessly follows.

Not long later, the team on the pitch disappears and Louis comes out of the locker room freshly showered and changed. As he approaches the boys, Harry can’t resist taking in his smell.

“What are you doing here?” Louis asks, ball tucked under his arm and propped against his hip. He puts his weight casually to one side of his body, knee popped.

“Well,” Harry says, feeling ready to explain himself and put an end to this entire situation.

Niall cuts him off. “We came to see you, man.”

“Oh?” Louis looks pointedly at Harry now. 

“Yeah,” Niall answers. “Why didn’t you tell me you were seeing Harry?”

“Oh,” Louis repeats, less of a question this time around. He tears his eyes away from Harry and looks at Niall quickly, then back to Harry, who’s squeezing his eyes shut out of sheer embarrassment. 

“I thought we weren’t telling anybody yet?”

Harry’s eyes snap open, meeting Louis’ immediately. 

Louis, who is smiling softly back at him, as if to encourage him. As if to say, _it’s okay, I’ll play along_.

“Um,” Harry stammers. “Yeah, sorry. Niall was prying, like always.”

Louis laughs. “You mentioned he did that.”

Niall looks offended, but Harry speaks before he can say anything. 

“Yeah, so I told him. Sorry.”

“That’s alright. Now that you’re here, do you wanna go grab a drink?” He raises his eyebrows. “You can come, too,” he offers, looking back over at Niall, though it sounds like an empty gesture.

Niall shakes his head. “Thanks for the offer, but I’m good, actually. I’ll let you two have fun.” He looks back and forth between Harry and Louis, smile growing. “Wow, two of my best mates. So happy for you both.” 

Louis smiles at Harry.

Harry presses his lips together, still feeling incredibly awkward.

**

“So…” Louis breaks the long silence as they walk together towards his residence. 

“I’m really sorry for dragging you into this. It’s a funny story, really…” Harry trails off.

“Don’t worry, Harry. I’m not opposed to getting a drink with a cute boy on a Friday night when I didn’t have plans otherwise.”

Harry can feel the heat rising in his cheeks.

“This is it. You gonna come inside while I get changed or wait out here?”

Harry is shocked by the invitation. 

“How do you know I’m not a murderer or something?”

Louis stops at the top of the stairs leading to his building, then turns around to look at Harry, still standing on the sidewalk.

“You’re friends with Niall.”

Harry laughs effortlessly, then jogs up the stairs to follow Louis. 

**

“This is a pretty nice place,” Harry comments, looking around the apartment.

When Harry and Niall were looking for a place to stay on campus, they took the cheapest one they could get.

“Well I appreciate opinions coming from complete strangers,” Louis laughs. “Which reminds me, what was your name again?” 

Harry laughs at the sheer ridiculousness of it all. By Louis’ tone of voice, he can tell that he’s joking. But that doesn’t make it any less crazy. He’s standing in the living room of a boy he met less than an hour ago under the guise that they were already dating. 

Louis heads into what must be his bedroom to get dressed, leaving Harry to stand stiffly right where he is. He doesn’t know Louis well enough to look around. 

“Alright,” Louis emerges, still pulling his t-shirt on over his head. “Let’s go.”

Harry watches Louis ruffle his hair smoothly, still damp from his shower, lingering odor of a floral shampoo filling the air. 

“You good?” Louis pulls Harry out of his thoughts.

“Yeah,” Harry brings himself back to what’s going on, smiling at the boy waiting for him near the door. “Let’s go.” 

**

“So what are you studying?” Louis asks over drinks.

“History,” Harry sips. “What about you?”

“Psychology.” 

Harry nods. “Interesting,” he leans closer. “So are you analyzing me right now?”

Just one drink is enough to make Harry a little flirtier than normal.

He’s on his second.

Louis stays silent, but can’t hide the smirk on his face. 

“Well?”

“Not right now, but I definitely was on the pitch.”

“Oh really?”

“Yeah, I knew something weird was going on the minute the two of you walked in and you couldn’t look up from the ground.”

Harry barks out a laugh. “Yeah, that’s fair.” 

“So are you gonna tell me how we ended up here?” 

Harry knew this was going to be a topic of conversation. At first, he was fine with that. But now, he’s actually enjoying Louis’ company and he’d rather not tell him. 

“Well…”

“I mean, I guess you don’t have to tell me. I don’t want to sound ungrateful.”

“No, it’s fine,” Harry sighs, ignoring the implication of the last part. “Basically I just got sick of Niall asking why I wasn’t dating anyone. So I told him I was. Then when he asked for a name, my new Louis Vuitton bag caught my eye, but then he happened to know you. So,” Harry makes a big gesture to the entire bar with his arms. “Here we are.” 

Louis’ eyes widen. “Louis Vuitton bag?”

“Thrifted,” Harry smiles. 

“Ah,” Louis shakes his head, laughing gently. “Well,” he takes a sip of his drink. “Why weren’t you?”

“Why wasn’t I what?’

“Dating anyone.” Louis locks eyes with Harry.

“Just…” Harry sighs again. “Never have. Figured I might as well wait until after I graduate next year.”

Louis’ jaw drops slightly, ready to say something. “I’m sorry, did I hear that right? You’ve never dated anyone?”

_Why did I tell him that?_

“Yeah.”

“Okay, so we have a lot of work to do then.”

“I’m sorry?”

Louis smiles. “Date me. For real. You won’t regret it.” 

“Um…” 

This is not how Harry thought his night was going to go. 

“Just, give me a chance, at least?” Louis asks, sounding less confident now. “We can do all the things you’ve missed out on and then if you’re not happy by the end of it, we’ll go our separate ways,” he pleads.

Harry can’t say he isn’t intrigued by the proposition. Louis is cute and has been making Harry laugh all night. 

“How long would we give it?”

“How about one month?”

“Alright Louis,” Harry smiles, extending a hand across the table. “You have a deal.”

Louis smiles back at Harry, then shakes his hand. 

“Okay,” Louis releases Harry’s hand and stands up. “Let’s go.”

“Where?”

“To get started. It’s ten o’clock on a Friday night. We’ve got so much time.” 

**

“What are we doing here?” Harry whispers, though the building is mostly empty.

“You said you told Niall we met in the library, so here we are.” Louis pulls out a chair and sits down. “Let’s meet.”

“Alright…” Harry backs away and turns around, preparing himself to appear foolish. 

“Come on, now,” Louis encourages him.

Harry takes a deep breath and turns back towards the table to approach. “Is this seat taken? It’s the only one left.”

Louis looks around at all the empty seats, then looks questioningly at Harry.

“Just go with it!” Harry laughs.

“Okay, okay, I should really come here more often, didn’t know it ever got busy.”

Harry just raises his eyebrows.

“Right. No, you can sit here,” Louis looks Harry up and down teasingly. “Next to me.”

Harry feels a chill course through his body before taking the seat next to Louis. He feels stupid. But he’s also having fun. He can’t even remember the last time he laughed so much in one night since the start of the semester. 

“What are you working on? Can I quiz you?”

Harry turns his head. “That’s how you think our first encounter should have gone?”

“Wow,” Louis quips. “For someone who’s never dated anyone, you sure are picky.” 

Harry feels his cheeks burning again.

_What are you doing?_

“You’re right, I’m sorry.”

“What? Harry, no. I’m just teasing you.” Louis puts a hand on Harry’s shoulder, but he retracts it just as fast as he set it there. 

Harry doesn’t say anything.

“Okay, we have to take a picture.”

“What? Why?”

Louis smiles. “Because I like having pictures to look back on and remember later.”

Harry doesn’t argue as Louis reaches into his pocket for his phone.

_This was his idea, anyways._

“Wait, just me?” Harry asks when Louis points the phone at him instead of having him in it as well, like Harry had thought he meant by ‘we’.

“Yeah, yeah,” Louis flicks his hand. “Move back a little bit. Right in front of the books.”

Harry just goes with it. 

Once Louis has a few pictures, he says, “y’know, what do you say we fast forward this encounter and go to our next destination?”

Louis doesn’t even give Harry a chance to argue. Harry is following behind him, out the door of the library, to who knows where at almost eleven o’clock on a Friday night. 

**

“Do you have your bus pass?”

“Yeah, it’s in my wallet.”

“Okay, good.”

Harry continues to follow Louis blindly. 

_I don’t even know him. What am I doing?_

Minutes later, they’re sitting on an empty public bus. 

“Here, put your number in my phone so I don’t forget later.” Louis hands Harry his phone, unlocked, ready for him to add his contact information.

Harry punches in his number and then hands Louis his phone back. 

“We’re already almost there,” Louis sounds excited about wherever they’re going.

“So why didn’t we just walk?” Harry asks, just out of genuine curiosity.

“Oh, Harry. We’ve gotta do everything. We’ll walk back home. And then maybe if you’re lucky, the next time we go out, I’ll drive.”

_The next time we go out._

_I guess this is really happening._

**

“A night market?” 

“Isn’t it cool?”

Harry loves it, but wants to remain casual. “Yeah, I guess.”

“Harry, I can see your excitement. It’s dripping off of you.”

Harry smiles. “Okay fine, I love it.” 

They walk through the market together, stopping at any stand that catches their attention. Along the way, they talk, but sometimes they just remain silent, and those moments are okay, too. 

Eventually, Harry feels Louis’ arm link with his own. When he looks over, Louis is already looking at him.

“Is this okay?”

“I don’t know, would you do this with your boyfriend?” Harry laughs nervously, and deep down he’s asking himself, _I don’t know, is this okay?_

Louis smiles back. “Well, right now, you are my boyfriend,” he looks down at their arms. “So I guess the answer is yes.”

“For now.” 

“For now.” Louis repeats, knowing when to draw the line. 

**

“Louis?” 

A couple of boys holding hands wave at Louis from a nearby stand. When Louis looks over at them, they start approaching.

Louis lets go of Harry’s arm as they get closer.

“Hey,” a dark haired boy says, mostly directed at Louis, but also nodding casually in Harry’s direction.

“What are you guys doing here?”

“We told you we were going out tonight,” the other one answers. “The real question is what are you doing here?” He asks, looking rather smug.

Louis glances over at Harry quickly, as if to make sure he hadn’t run away out of discomfort. “Long story,” he chuckles. “Guys, this is Harry.”

Harry smiles shyly and brings a hand up to wave.

“Harry, this is my roommate, Zayn and his boyfriend, Liam.” Louis motions to either boy as he introduces them. 

They both extend their arms for a handshake, which Harry reacts to quickly.

“Nice to meet you,” Liam smiles warmly. 

Harry nods, then shakes Zayn’s hand as well.

“Did you walk here, Louis? Want a ride home when you’re done?”

Louis shakes his head immediately. “Gotta walk Harry home,” he links his arm with Harry’s again, almost protectively this time. 

Harry pretends he doesn’t even notice. “You don’t have to.”

Louis shakes his head, and Zayn and Liam look between the two of them with a new sense of realization.

“First date,” Louis explains anyway. “This is probably already too much,” he laughs. “Wasn’t gonna introduce him to you two fools until at least date number three.” 

Zayn lets out a quick laugh, but regains his composure easily before asking, “what makes you so sure you’ll even get a second?”

Louis smiles, then pats Harry’s bicep softly. 

“Just a feeling.”

**

“You really like it, huh?”

Harry continues to spin it between his fingers in response. 

“Let me buy it for you.”

“What? No,” Harry protests. 

He still doesn’t even really know Louis. He doesn’t think it would be fair to let him buy him something after he already paid for drinks. 

_Just three hours ago I was sitting in a bar with him and agreed to date him._

“Please, Harry,” Louis looks at him intently. “Then you can wear it for as long as we do this.”

Harry blushes, then sighs, knowing he’s lost. 

“Okay.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Louis smiles and reaches into his back pocket for his wallet. “Excuse me,” he calls, trying to get the vendor’s attention. “I’d like to purchase this ring, please.”

**

“So,” Harry says once they’re on his doorstep an hour later. “I had fun tonight. Thank you.” 

“I’m glad you did. It’ll only get better.”

Harry tenses up.

“Why do you look so uneasy?” Louis asks, and he seems to understand as soon as the question leaves his mouth. “Oh, relax, Harry,” he laughs. “I just mean in this next month.”

Harry lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

“I’m not gonna kiss you tonight,” Louis whispers, and Harry leans closer to hear him. Louis mirrors this movement. “I will call you, though.”

_Will you?_

Harry still can’t decide whether he’s not going to be able to get rid of Louis Tomlinson or if he’s never going to hear from him again and this whole thing was just a big joke.

Louis leans forward until he’s almost cheek to cheek with Harry, then whispers right into his ear, “this okay?”

Harry nods silently and swallows hard.

Louis turns his head and presses his lips on Harry’s cheek, right in front of his ear, lingering just long enough.

“Goodnight, Louis,” Harry says, already leaning backwards towards the door of his campus housing building. 

“Goodnight, Harry,” Louis mimics the action and starts walking backwards towards the street. “I’ll call you,” is the last thing he says before turning around and strolling down the sidewalk. 

Harry doesn’t let himself watch for too long. 

**

“Oh, I didn’t think you’d be home tonight,” Niall comments as Harry locks the door behind him. 

Harry kicks his shoes off. “Why?”

“Just thought you’d spend the night at Tommo’s.”

_Right._

_He thinks we’ve been seeing each other for longer than just tonight._

“Not tonight.” 

Harry figures that the way to get out of answering questions is to be as vague as possible. 

“You didn’t have plans tonight?”

And to change the subject.

“No,” Niall exhales. “Just came home and found something to watch.”

“Nice. Well, I’m heading to bed. I’m exhausted. Goodnight, Ni.”

“Goodnight, H.”

**

OCTOBER 4TH

Harry picks up his phone to an unknown number the fourth time they call that day.

“Hello?” He answers somewhat aggressively.

“Woah, you okay there?”

“Louis,” Harry sighs, tugging gently at the ring on his finger, further evidence that he didn’t just dream up this whole situation. “Sorry. I forgot you had my number but I didn’t have yours. Sorry.”

Harry can hear Louis laugh on the other end.

“It’s alright, Harry. Listen, I just wanted to tell you that I can’t hang out tonight. I forgot I had plans with Zayn and Liam.”

“So why did you call then?” 

There’s a pause.

“Louis?”

Louis mumbles inaudibly. Then, clearly, he says, “Because I told you I would, Harry. And I keep my word.”

**

OCTOBER 5TH

Harry doesn’t hear from Louis at all.

He’s half convinced the whole thing was just a fever dream.

**

OCTOBER 6TH 

Harry is laying in bed when his phone buzzes with a text on his bedside table.

_Let’s go get coffee !!!_

_7:47 am_

Harry reads the text over and over, like he’s studying it. He types out a reply, then changes it numerous times until he feels like it’s just right.

_I don’t drink coffee :p_

_7:49 am_

A response comes back immediately.

_Funny. Me neither. Tea??_

_7:49 am_

Harry smiles to himself.

_Sure_

_7:50 am_

_What time is your first class?_

_7:50 am_

_Noon. You?_

_7:50 am_

_Why are you up so early then??? I have a 9 am_

_7:51 am_

Harry laughs to himself. 

_I like to keep a good sleep schedule. Sorry to hear you actually have class in the morning_

_7:52 am_

_Oh shut up_

_7:52 am_

Then, before Harry can reply,

_See you in twenty minutes x_

_7:52 am_

**

Harry spots Louis in the corner of the coffee shop when he walks in. He can’t help but notice how good he looks.

“Good morning,” Louis greets Harry from his seat. “What are you smiling about?”

“Nothing,” Harry lies, then looks at the table. “Did you already buy me a drink?”

“Yeah,” Louis shrugs. “Figured it would have time to cool down a little before you got here.”

Harry smiles politely. “Thank you.”

“Well, are you gonna sit down?” 

Harry nods as he pulls his chair out to sit. 

“It’s good to see you again,” Louis smiles, sipping his tea. “I was convinced you were just going to ignore me forever when you weren’t answering your phone throughout the day on Saturday.”

“Oh,” Harry laughs. “Sorry. Guess I was just surprised, that’s all.”

“Surprised by what?”

“That you called.”

“Harry,” Louis shakes his head in confusion. “I told you I would.”

“I know,” Harry nods. “Part of me just thought maybe the whole thing was a joke and I would never hear from you again,” he says, a little too honest for his liking.

Louis frowns as Harry looks down towards the ground.

“I wouldn’t do that,” Louis says, voice coming out in a whisper.

“Sorry,” Harry apologizes quickly. He didn’t mean to make Louis feel bad.

“It’s fine, just, please, trust me, okay?”

“Okay.”

“So,” Louis moves on. “Ever been here before?”

“No.”

“It’s my favourite place on campus. Usually pretty quiet, too.”

Harry scans the place quickly. He does like the atmosphere. It’s small, and like Louis said, fairly quiet. There’s only one girl behind the counter, looking bored as she scrolls along her cell phone since the few customers inside have all already been served. Instrumental music plays softly in the background, and the walls are strung with pieces of art.

“It’s nice,” Harry says, finally, then takes a sip of his tea. “Tea is good, too.”

“So,” Louis smiles. “Tell me something about yourself that I don’t know yet.”

“Um,” Harry looks down at the table. 

“Don’t be shy, now.”

Harry tucks a loose strand of hair behind his ear.

“Okay, tell me about that.”

“About what?”

“Your nails. Do you paint them yourself?”

Harry forgot he had painted his nails the night before. Now he just feels embarrassed. 

As if Louis can read the look on his face, he places a soft hand on top of Harry’s and says, “I like them. I think they’re beautiful.”

Louis pulls his hand away and Harry looks around quickly, simply trying to avoid looking at Louis. 

“Thank you,” he says, still without making eye contact. But he can feel Louis’ eyes on his face, so he finally looks up at him to say, “and yeah, usually I do them myself. But when I go visit for the weekend sometimes or holidays, my sister likes to do them, too.”

“You’ll have to let me do them sometime.”

Harry takes another sip of his drink to hide his reaction. “Really?”

“Really.”

Harry smiles and nods gently. 

“Text me your class schedule.” Louis veers away from the subject of Harry’s nails. 

Louis is able to bounce between topics without it ever feeling unnatural. Harry hasn’t felt like any conversation between them in the last three days, whether in person or via text message, was forced.

“Why?”

“So I know when you’re busy.” Louis says, as if it was obvious. “I have a month to prove to you that dating is worth it,” he smiles, then adds quietly, “that dating me is worth it.”

Harry stays quiet as he sends Louis a screenshot of his class schedule.

When Louis’ phone buzzes on the table, Harry catches a glimpse of the picture of himself that Louis took in the library.

He pointedly ignores it.

“Basically what I’m saying is,” Louis makes a gesture in the air with his hand, unaware that Harry even saw the contact photo. “You’re gonna be seeing a lot of me.”

**

After making and eating dinner, there’s a knock on the door. Harry gets up from the couch and walks over to open it.

“Louis? What?” Harry sputters. “How did you even know which apartment is mine?”

“Well, I know where Niall lives, so,” Louis shrugs. “I know where you live.”

Harry quickly looks behind him at the mess in the living room, then back at Louis, who is rocking on his heels.

“Well, can I come in?” 

“Louis,” Harry breathes out, still exasperated by this surprise visit. “I’m working.”

“On what? What class is it?” 

“No, working as in, my job.” 

“You work from home?” Louis asks with amazement. 

“Yes,” Harry sighs. “Come in.” 

Louis smiles, then steps inside and slips off his shoes. 

“I just ate dinner, but there’s some leftovers in the fridge if you want.” Harry offers as Louis walks over to where Harry had been sitting on the couch.

“I’m okay, thanks though.” Louis sits down and looks around the room. “Just wanted to see your place and come see you for a minute.”

“You’re not…” Harry trails off, more confused than ever by Louis’ presence. “Staying?”

“Wasn’t planning on staying long. I know I came over unannounced and that’s not cool. Just wanted to make plans to see you tomorrow.” Louis shrugs. “Unless you want me…” he tacks on. “To stay?” 

“No,” Harry says, too quickly. “Sorry. I mean, I just need to get this done. I’m a little behind.”

“Okay, I’ll make it quick then,” Louis jumps up. “I was looking at your class schedule. And I saw you have a break in the afternoon tomorrow, so I was wondering if you wanted to get lunch? We could go to that place you said you liked. What was it called again? Sandy’s?”

Harry smiles. “Yeah, that’s it. But I actually go into work during that break.”

“Oh, what do you do, anyways?” 

“I work for an art gallery. Just do some admin stuff, really.”

“That sounds cool,” Louis nods. “So how about tomorrow night?” He gets back to his main point. 

“Um,” Harry bites his lip. “I have to study, but I guess you could come over?” 

“Okay,” Louis claps his hands together. “Just text me when you’re good, then. I’ll see you tomorrow night.”

Without another word passing between them, Louis is out the door.

**

OCTOBER 7TH

Harry sits in one of the offices shared amongst him and the other students who work at the gallery. A figure walking towards his office catches his eye, and when he looks up, Louis is standing there, knocking on the glass door.

Harry motions for him to come in, and as soon as Louis enters, Harry asks, “what are you doing here?”

Louis frowns, and Harry realizes that his words came out with more bite than he intended.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that,” Harry smiles and gestures for Louis to sit down. “I’m just confused. How did you find me? And why?”

“Before I answer your questions, I figure now might be a good time to check in.” Louis puts a brown paper bag on Harry’s desk. “Are you still okay with all of this? You can tell me to back off now, instead of trying to make it through a whole month. If you already know that you-”

“No,” Harry cuts him off. “I mean, it’s still okay. It’s just all very new. I’ve never had anyone who wanted to find where I work and come see me.”

Louis smiles. “Well,” he opens the bag. “I told you we would do all the boyfriend things. So,” he pulls out a burger. “I brought you lunch. From Sandy’s.”

Harry opens his mouth to reply, but Louis continues.

“I wasn’t sure if you’d eaten already, so I only brought one and thought maybe we could share,” he smiles. “I also brought a knife to cut it. What else…” he rambles on. “I got fries with it, tried a few on my way here, and they’re pretty good. Also got this milkshake. Again, I thought we could share, so I got two straws. Not sure how you feel about sharing a straw so I thought that was a safe bet.”

“Louis.” 

“Yeah?” Louis stops setting everything up on Harry’s desk and looks right at him, eyes wide and hopeful.

“Thank you,” Harry says, trying to sound as sincere as possible so Louis knows how much he appreciates the effort.

Louis smiles, slides the milkshake and straws over to Harry, then continues cutting the burger.

“Do you want the pickles from my half? I don’t like them.” Louis lifts his top bun carefully and pulls the slices of pickles out, dangling them out in front of him.

Harry laughs, takes them from Louis’ fingers and pops them into his mouth. 

They chat over lunch, and eventually Harry remembers Louis never did explain how he got here.

“So,” Harry says after swallowing a bite of his food. “You never did answer my questions. How did you find me?”

“I looked up nearby art galleries. Called each one asking if Harry Styles was working today until this one said yes. When I got here, I just asked the girl at the front desk where I could find you.”

Harry nods along. 

“Okay,” Louis puts the milkshake down, sliding it back in front of Harry for him to finish. “I have class right away so I have to head out, but I’ll still see you tonight?”

Harry smiles and nods as Louis puts his garbage in the trash and goes to open the glass door. 

“Louis?”

Louis stops abruptly and turns back around.

“Thank you.”

Louis smiles, then walks out the door. 

**

Harry texts Louis to come over once Niall has left for the library. 

Fifteen minutes later, Louis is knocking at his door.

Harry jogs over to answer it, and when he opens the door, Louis is standing there with a six pack of beer and a huge grin on his face. 

“Hey, Harry,” he slips inside. “I brought beer. I don’t actually know if you drink beer. But I know Niall does, so if you don’t, it’s fine.” 

“Uh, thanks, yeah,” Harry scratches the back of his head while he watches Louis take off his shoes and pad through his apartment comfortably. 

“So what are you working on tonight?” Louis asks as he opens the fridge to put the beer away.

“I have an exam coming up on Thursday. It’s for a modern art class.”

“Do you feel ready for it?” Louis asks, walking towards where Harry is standing in the living room.

“Mostly. I have my stuff set up in my room…” Harry points in the direction of his bedroom.

“Okay, cool.” Louis takes this as an invitation to walk into Harry’s room.

He walks inside but stops just inside the door, looking around in awe. 

“I like your room.”

“Thanks.”

Louis finally steps fully inside, still looking around at the fairy lights and artwork slewn against the walls. He notices Harry’s books and laptop spread out across the bed, so he turns to Harry’s bookshelf and examines the titles he has.

“Do you want me to help you or can I…?” Louis gestures to the books.

“No,” Harry says, taken aback by Louis’ desire to simply come over and read, not requiring Harry’s attention. “Go ahead.”

Louis turns his full attention back to the books as Harry sits down on his bed. Harry starts to read through his open textbook, but keeps having to read the same paragraph over and over again. He’s simply too drawn in by Louis, who is still yet to choose a book.

Finally, Louis picks one up from the shelf and takes a seat on the floor, leaning against Harry’s bed. He crosses his legs and opens the book, starting to read. 

Harry tries to focus. 

“You can sit up here,” he blurts out after moments of contemplation. “If you want.”

Louis turns his head to look up at Harry. “That’s okay with you?”

“Yeah.”

Louis scrambles from the ground onto the bed and leans against the wall, legs extended. 

Harry moves some of his books to give Louis more space.

They sit in silence for two full hours; Harry, remaining focused on his studies, Louis, engrossed in his book. 

“Want a beer?” Louis breaks the silence.

Harry thinks about it.

“I don’t think I’d finish one tonight.”

Louis nods once, lips pressed together. 

“Do you want to share one?” He asks quietly. 

“Um,” Harry thinks again. “Sure, that would be alright.”

Louis practically bounces out of the room and comes back, an open bottle of beer in his hand. 

“I think you’ve studied enough for one night, anyways,” he shrugs, offering Harry the bottle.

“Yeah,” Harry agrees. “You’re probably right.”

Harry grabs the beer from Louis and takes a few sips before handing it back. Louis smiles at him before lifting the bottle casually towards Harry and taking a few sips of his own. 

Harry watches curiously. 

He’s still torn between whether or not Louis is actually trying to charm him, or if he’s going to just get up and leave when the month is over, and Harry will have to readjust to life without him.

It’s too early to think about it.

**

OCTOBER 8TH

Harry doesn’t see Louis.

He’s mostly unbothered.

(Mostly.)

He’s gotten kind of used to having Louis around.

**

OCTOBER 9TH

Harry wakes up to a string of texts from Louis.

_Good luck on your exam!! x_

_7:57 am_

_You’re gonna do great! I believe in you Harry_

_7:57 am_

_I’m picking you up after. Text me when it’s over._

_7:58 am_

Harry doesn’t reply until his exam is over, but he thinks about the texts the whole time he’s writing it.

_He… believes in me?_

As he exits the building, he notices Louis’ car parked nearby. 

“Why are you here already? Thought you were going to come get me when I texted you.” Harry says through the open passenger window, leaning into the car. 

“Been sitting here since it started. Thought maybe I could be like a good luck charm you didn’t even know you had,” he winks teasingly. “Come on, get in.”

Harry gets in the car.

“Where are we going?” Harry asks.

“Wherever you feel like.” 

**

They end up at a small dessert place just off campus.

“I can’t believe you’ve never been here before,” Harry says, twirling in the parking lot with excitement.

Louis laughs and stays a few feet behind Harry, just watching him. He pulls out his phone and takes a few pictures as Harry jumps around.

Harry opens the door for Louis, who smiles at him when he enters. 

“What do you recommend? And what do you feel like having?” Louis asks, staring up at the menu.

“The cinnamon buns are really good. Think I might go with one of those.”

“Sold,” Louis walks up to the counter. “Two cinnamon buns, please.”

**

_This feels like a date._

Harry knows that in theory, technically speaking, every time he’s with Louis, it’s a date. But this is the first time that it feels overwhelmingly like one. He doesn’t know why. It just does.

“Okay,” Louis says, cutting into his cinnamon bun. “What’s your dream job?”

“Hmm?” Harry asks, distracted by the motion of Louis’ hands. 

“What do you want to end up doing?”

“I don’t know yet,” Harry shrugs. “I might like to work at an art gallery forever. Maybe open my own someday.”

“Interesting,” Louis brings his fork up to his mouth to bite into a piece. “Good call on these, by the way. Delicious.”

“What about you?” Harry asks before Louis can ask anything else. “What do you want to do?”

“I actually want to work in the psychology field,” Louis nods. “No preference, really. I just find it so fascinating. Really enjoy it.”

“That’s good.”

“Do you want to come over tomorrow night?”

Harry is always taken aback by Louis’ sudden shifts. 

“I really want to paint your nails,” he says quietly, looking at Harry’s hands. 

“Um,” Harry bites back a smile. “Sure.”

“Okay, cool. Can I see your phone?”

Harry narrows his eyes, but pulls out his phone anyways.

“Relax, I just want to scroll through your music.”

Harry nods slowly, unlocking his phone and handing it over to Louis.

“That’s very important in a relationship, you know,” Louis says, already scrolling. “Knowing the kind of music your partner listens to.”

_Partner._

“Yeah, makes sense.” 

Harry watches as Louis continues to scroll silently, nodding along when he comes across something interesting. Eventually, Louis hands Harry his phone back.

“I took notes,” he taps the side of his head twice quickly with one finger. 

Harry can’t help but laugh, and he suddenly gets the feeling that Louis is learning more about him than he's ever let anyone else know. 

**

OCTOBER 10TH

Harry stands outside Louis’ building with his backpack slung over his shoulder. He texts Louis to let him know he’s outside and that he forgot his campus building key card, and a moment later, Louis is opening the door for him.

“Hey,” he smiles. 

“Hey.”

“Alright, you brought everything we need?” He asks, as they climb the stairs to the third floor.

“Yeah, I think so,” Harry replies.

Louis opens the door to his apartment and allows Harry to step in first. “Guys, you remember Harry,” he says, sounding annoyed, as he walks in behind Harry.

“Harry!” Liam says, sounding surprised to find him in his apartment. “Of course, we met last weekend.”

“At the market,” Zayn adds. 

“Right.” Louis comments through clenched teeth. “Sorry,” he directs to Harry. “They were supposed to be gone by now.”

“Louis,” Zayn laughs. “I’m sure it’s fine, right, Harry?”

“Oh,” Harry nods. “Yeah.”

“Plus,” Liam cuts in. “It’s like you’re here all the time, anyways.”

Harry tilts his head curiously. 

“Louis never shuts up about you,” Zayn explains. 

“Okay!’ Louis half yells. “This is why I didn’t want you to cross paths. Out, out, here you go,” Louis ushers them towards the door.

Harry stands still in his spot, covering his warm cheeks with his hands as nonchalantly as possible. 

“Have fun!” Liam calls, before Louis closes the door behind them. 

Louis turns around, back pressed to the door, looking at Harry. When Harry smiles at him politely, Louis just shakes his head and sends him a sheepish grin. 

**

Harry shakes the bottle as hard as he can.

“I like the colour,” Louis smiles.

“Thanks,” Harry examines the baby blue shade he selected.

“Alright, do I just start painting them?” 

Louis reaches for the bottle, and Harry swiftly smacks his hand away.

“Not yet,” he says with a smile when Louis looks at him with big eyes but a smile to match. “Let me go wash my hands.”

Harry stands up and heads to the bathroom. After washing his hands and moisturizing quickly, he returns to Louis’ room and sits across from him on the floor. 

“Can you do mine, too?” Louis asks quietly as he fiddles with the bottle of nail polish in his hands.

Harry looks up at Louis, who is expressly avoiding his eye.

“Of course. And actually,” Harry reaches for his bag. “I brought a few other colours. I was indecisive.”

Louis’ eyes widen at the sight of so much variety. 

“You choose for me.”

Harry looks at Louis, then at all of his bottles. His eyes come back to land on a soft pink, complementary to his baby blue. He raises his eyebrows at Louis, searching his approval.

Louis nods with a smile. 

“Do you want me to do yours first so you can see how to do it?”

“Yeah, I’d like that.” Louis stands up to go wash his own hands.

“Hey, we should put on some music,” he suggests when he returns.

“Yeah, whatever you want.”

Louis walks over to his speaker and turns it on before connecting his phone wirelessly. “I have the perfect playlist.”

Harry giggles. “Oh yeah? What’s it called?”

Louis sits back down and looks up at Harry seriously. 

“That feeling when you’re listening to your lover laugh and you can feel the smile growing on your face and you suddenly realize you have a new favourite sound.”

Louis doesn’t break eye contact as a soft smile combined with a rosy shade both make an appearance on Harry’s face. 

Harry shakes up the bottle of pink nail polish and motions for Louis to put his hand down on the carpet. Carefully, Harry strokes the brush along Louis’ thumb, then moves along until he’s completely done one hand. When he goes to move on to the next, he breaks the tense silence built up between them.

“Do you like it?”

Louis looks up from his nails for the first time since Harry started. “I really do.”

“Good.”

Harry paints his other hand, and Louis snaps a picture of Harry while he does so. 

“Okay, we need to wait for them to dry before doing a second coat.”

Louis nods, then jumps up and offers Harry his hand.

“Come on, then,” he encourages Harry.

Harry scoffs and rolls his eyes but takes his hand, anyways.

“Have you ever danced before, Harry?” 

Harry shakes his head. 

Louis grabs his phone off his bed and scrolls through his playlist until he finds the song he’s looking for.

“I’m gonna get closer to you, okay?”

Harry nods.

_“If I’m not enough”_

Louis steps closer and reaches for Harry’s hands, guiding them slowly to his own hips. 

_“Or going by your words too much”_

Louis wraps his arms around Harry’s neck, holding his own wrist with one hand.

_“Then why can’t you let me adjust”_

“This still okay?”

“Mmhmm.”

_“To the movement of you”_

Harry looks down at Louis’ feet and tries to match his movement. 

“Can I tell you something honestly, Harry?” Louis asks as they continue to sway slowly in the middle of his bedroom.

_“If my love’s not worth”_

“I had sworn off relationships until the day I met you and you had accidentally gotten me involved in a fake one.”

_“The risk that you’re taking each day”_

Harry tilts his head slightly. “Why?”

“I don’t know,” Louis looks down at their feet, seeming almost ashamed of something. “A bad experience can really change the way you see them.”

When Harry nods slowly, Louis looks up at Harry hopefully and adds, “which is one reason why I hope I’m giving you a good first experience.”

Harry smiles. “I’m having a good time with you.”

_“I hope you’re still mine.”_

The two boys continue to sway to the soft song, Harry allowing himself to relax under Louis’ touch and following his movement.

“I’m grateful for the day you decided to lie to Niall,” Louis whispers, then adds even quieter, “and it was my name you came up with.”

Harry can feel his stomach floating.

“If nothing else, we’ll be friends after this, right?”

Harry quietly sucks in a breath. “Right.”

_“Still mine, still hope you’re still mine”_

Harry thinks Louis might kiss him.

(He doesn’t.)

Instead, Louis looks down at the ground with a soft smile tugging at his lips before releasing his grip on Harry’s shoulders, then sits on the ground and picks up the bottle of pink nail polish, waiting for Harry to sit and paint the second coat.

_“You’re still hopelessly mine”_

**

Louis insists on walking Harry home, and won’t take no for an answer. They walk across campus in the dark, bodies bumping together every few steps.

“Harry?” 

“Yeah?”

“Can I hold your hand?”

“Um,” Harry bites his lip.

So Louis doesn’t reach for his hand. He doesn’t complain, either. Just accepts Harry’s lack of answer and moves on.

“So what are you doing tomorrow night?” He skips slightly ahead.

Harry moves to catch up with him, then takes a deep breath and laces his fingers with Louis’.

Louis turns his head to look over at Harry and smiles before gently squeezing his hand. He pulls out his phone and takes a picture of their hands intertwined between them.

“Well,” Harry starts. “I hear that you’re gonna be busy so I’ll probably just do some studying.”

“Oh, so you know already, then?”

“Yeah,” Harry laughs. “Niall hasn’t shut up about it for the last week.”

“Okay…” Louis trails off. “Well I was actually wondering if you wanted to come?”

Harry looks at the pavement ahead of him then back over to Louis.

“You want me to come to your game?”

“Of course I do,” Louis answers quickly. “But it’s up to you. If you want to study, I get that.”

“I’ll have to think about it,” Harry decides, as they arrive at the entrance of his apartment.

“Okay,” Louis lets go of Harry’s hand and leans in, head tilted to lay a gentle kiss on his cheek. “Goodnight, Harry.”

“Goodnight, Louis.”

Louis walks backwards down the sidewalk. “Maybe I’ll see you tomorrow night.”

“Yeah,” Harry blushes. “Maybe.”

**

OCTOBER 11TH 

Harry finds himself standing on the bleachers amidst hundreds of screaming fans. 

_I don’t belong here._

The referee blows the whistle, signaling the teams can begin warming up.

Both teams jog relaxedly onto the field, but Harry’s eyes find Louis immediately. His hair is pushed back with a thick headband, and his jersey hugs his waist snugly, the name TOMLINSON and the number 28 written in a big font on the back. 

Harry is so distracted watching the sway of his hips and the movement of his shorts, that he almost misses the way Louis is searching the crowd.

He cups his hands around his mouth and yells, “Louis!”

Louis seems to hear his name, but still can’t pinpoint where it’s coming from. 

“Louis!”

Louis turns and finds Harry, hand coming up to wave. Harry waves back shyly as two people slide in next to him on the bleachers.

“Hey, we figured it must have been you Louis was looking for. He knows where we normally are,” Zayn says.

“Oh,” Harry looks away from them and back at Louis on the field, who’s now focused on actually getting ready to play. “Yeah, I guess.”

“You know,” Liam says. “Louis seems to really care about you. He’s probably really happy you decided to come.”

“Yeah,” Zayn adds. “So thank you.”

“For what?” Harry laughs nervously.

“For making him so happy again.”

_Again?_

But as Harry is about to ask what exactly Zayn had meant by that, the referee blows his whistle for the game to start, and any words Harry could possibly find would be immediately drowned out by the excitement of everyone around him.

**

There’s just a few minutes left and it’s a tied game.

“Go, Louis!” Harry yells on his feet, having gotten really into it with Zayn and Liam beside him.

Louis sprints up the side of the field with the ball, everybody else far behind him. He doesn’t stop; he keeps going until he’s lined himself up, and then he’s taking the shot and the ball can be heard hitting the back of the net. 

The crowd erupts. Louis’ team is swarming him in congratulations. Before they can get there, Louis turns and points right at Harry, a smile on his face. 

In the chill of the evening air, Harry feels warm.

**

“Great game tonight, Niall,” Harry says once Niall comes out of the locker room.

“Oh, so you show up to a game when your boyfriend is here.” Niall acts offended.

_My boyfriend?_

_Yeah. My boyfriend._

_My boyfriend, Louis._

“Sorry,” Harry chuckles. “I’ll be here more often. I actually had fun.”

“Of course you did,” Niall laughs right along with him. “See you later, H.”

Harry watches as Niall walks off with some of his teammates, knowing they’re going out to celebrate their win. He wants to see Louis before he goes, though.

A few minutes later, Louis walks out, showered and changed. 

“Louis, that was amazing! The big pitch, the bright lights under the night sky. I loved being here!” Harry yells excitedly as Louis approaches. 

Louis just laughs at Harry’s bubbling enthusiasm.

“I’m so glad you asked me to come.”

“Well, I’m glad you came. Now,” Louis turns to face the field again. “If you liked it so much, what do you say we play a match? Me and you?”

Harry narrows his eyes and throws his thumb over his shoulder towards the parking lot. 

“Aren’t you going out to dinner with the rest of the team?”

Louis glances towards the crowd in the parking lot, then turns back to Harry. 

“I would much rather let you experience the big pitch, and the bright lights under the night sky.” 

_Don’t think, just do._

Harry wraps an arm around Louis’ shoulder, and Louis tucks his arm around Harry’s waist as they walk together towards the pitch. 

**

“Okay,” Harry sighs after sending the ball flying way too far, again. “I never knew I was so bad at this.”

Louis throws his head back and laughs, one hand settled gently on his stomach. 

“Don’t worry about it,” Louis turns to go chase after the ball. “Just having fun.”

Louis kicks the ball ahead of him on his way back, a few feet at a time. 

Harry decides it would be a good idea to challenge Louis for the ball as he gets closer. So Louis moves in towards him and tries to match his footwork.

Louis picks up on what’s happening immediately. “Okay,” he laughs. “Let’s go then. Bring it on, Haz.”

_Haz?_

Harry gets closer and grabs a fistful of Louis’ t-shirt, trying to stay right beside him as he runs the ball around the vast, empty pitch.

Louis does the same, and Harry jumps back quickly.

Louis immediately stops and looks at him, visibly worried. “Harry, I’m sorry,” he starts to say, but Harry cuts him off, feeling bad upon seeing him so concerned.

“No, it’s fine. I’m just very… sensitive.”

“Oh,” Louis laughs, realizing what really happened. “And by sensitive, you mean ticklish?”

“That too.”

Thus begins the start of the chase, ball long forgotten.

“Louis, please,” Harry begs through laughter when Louis inevitably catches up to him.

Louis reaches in to tickle along Harry’s sides as Harry attempts unsuccessfully to fend him off. As he moves backwards, arms flailing in front him to push Louis’ hands away, he trips and falls to the ground, laughing the whole time. 

At first, Louis tries to catch Harry, concerned by this sudden fall, but when he sees Harry is still laughing, he follows him down to the ground. 

Louis instinctively straddles Harry’s hips, knees digging into the ground on either side, but not sinking down to put his weight on Harry.

“This okay?” He asks, and when Harry nods as he continues to laugh, Louis sinks his hips down and grabs his wrists, pinning them above his head.

Harry stops laughing, sound caught in his throat.

“I win,” Louis leans down closer to Harry’s face. 

Harry can feel his heart beating fast. In the silence without the persistent sound of his laughter, he swears he can feel Louis’, too. 

“You win,” he whispers. 

And just as Harry thinks Louis might close the gap and kiss him, Louis laughs and rolls off, offering Harry a hand up. 

_Maybe he doesn’t want to kiss me._

_I lose._

**

OCTOBER 12TH

“Harry, it’s Sunday. You’re not supposed to do anything on Sundays. They’re made for lounging around and being lazy, dreading Monday.”

Harry has been on the phone with Louis for twenty minutes, who is trying to convince him to come over and just watch television all day.

“Louis,” Harry laughs. “If I’m always with you, when am I supposed to be productive?”

“Oh,” Louis says into the phone. “I get it. You think I’m a bad influence on you,” Louis sounds mock offended.

Harry can tell he’s joking. And Harry appreciates the joking and teasing just as much as he appreciates all the other things Louis does.

“Yeah,” Harry quips. “Guess it’s working, though. I’ll be there in twenty.”

“It’s raining.” Louis says quickly, before Harry can hang up.

“So?”

“So I’ll come pick you up.”

**

Five minutes later, Louis is standing outside Harry’s door, wet from the outside rain. 

“I had to park like a block away,” he says grumpily.

Harry can’t bite back a laugh. 

“Do you want a towel?”

“No, let’s just go.”

When they get downstairs and look outside at the heavy rain, Louis grabs hold of Harry’s arm.

“Ready?”

They open the door and start to run. They run down the sidewalk towards Louis’ car, explosive laughter the whole way. They’re getting absolutely soaked and there’s nothing they can do about it.

Once they can see Louis’ car, he pulls out his keys to unlock it. 

“Hurry!” He calls over the drumming sound of the rain hitting the pavement. 

They both jump into the car quickly, pulling the doors shut behind them with a slam. For a moment, they sit in silence, listening to the rain pound on the roof over their heads.

Harry laughs, filling the air with his voice. “I look like I just had a shower.”

Louis looks over at him, smiling, then says, “you know what?”

Before Harry can ask, Louis is opening the door and stepping out into the rain. Harry watches for a moment as Louis twirls around outside. When he sees Louis beaming and waving him over, Harry doesn’t think about it as he steps out of the car. 

And then Harry is in his own little bubble with Louis. The world around him seems to fade away as he runs through the empty street with the boy who has only been around for a week and some, yet has already taken up a big space in Harry’s life. 

There’s a flash of lightning that illuminates the sky, followed by a clap of thunder loud enough the solid ground beneath their feet seems to shake. 

They look at each other and laugh, and Louis gets closer, holding out his hand for Harry to take. Louis twirls Harry in the rain, over and over until he’s dizzy from spinning and lightheaded from the sound of Louis’ laughter and the warmth of his hand holding his own. 

They collectively decide when they’ve had enough, and they get back to the car. They sit in silence again, and it’s the chattering of Harry’s teeth that fill the void.

Louis’ head snaps over. “When we get to mine, you can have a hot shower and some fresh clothes.” 

He starts the car and pulls away from the curb.

Harry pretends he doesn’t notice Louis speeding a little as his thumbs tap on the wheel, wanting nothing more than to warm Harry up.

**

“Thanks for letting me shower,” Harry says, walking out of the bathroom wearing clothing that belongs to Louis.

“Of course.” Louis smiles, waiting for him in the living room. “Now, Liam practically lives here with us, but it appears that today, Zayn actually went over to his place. So.”

“So…” Harry rocks on his heels nervously.

“So we can sit on the couch to watch TV, and don’t need to hide out in my room.” 

“Oh. Yeah,” Harry nods. “Makes sense.”

Louis walks over to the couch and sits down on one end, and Harry goes and sits away from him on the opposite end. 

A look Harry can’t describe flashes across Louis’ face, but he shakes it away. 

“So what do you want to watch?” 

“I don’t know,” Harry says honestly. 

He doesn’t watch much TV. Before he met Louis, he didn’t do much of anything besides working, studying and sleeping. 

“We could pick a mindless sitcom to watch together.”

“Sure,” Harry keeps his eyes glued on the TV as Louis scrolls through the options, then points at the screen. “What’s that one?” 

“You’ve never seen this?” Louis turns his head to look at Harry, dumbfounded.

“No,” Harry smiles sheepishly.

“We’re watching it then. It’s hilarious, and it’s a classic. I can’t let you go through life not knowing.”

“So you’ve already seen it? Why don’t we pick something else then?”

“I don’t mind,” Louis says quietly, then turns to the screen and presses play. 

** 

Harry swears he didn’t do it on purpose, but he’s somehow found himself inching closer and closer to Louis throughout the afternoon, until he’s sitting right next to him. He can’t figure out why, but the next logical thing for him to do, the only thing that makes sense in his mind, is to rest his head on Louis’ shoulder. Louis doesn’t even flinch at the motion.

Louis’ hand reaches over to rest on Harry’s knee, but stops before he even gets there, pulling it back into his own lap without so much as touching Harry.

“It’s okay,” Harry whispers softly.

Harry watches as Louis brings his hand over slowly to rest on Harry’s knee. He inhales sharply and stills his entire body as Louis uses his thumb to gently rub circles on the outside of his leg.

They stay like that for what could be hours or even days, Harry couldn’t tell.

When Louis eventually removes his hand in the evening, Harry lifts his head and turns to look at him. Louis’ eyes seem to be searching his own, and finally, he says, “Zayn will probably be home soon.”

Harry swallows and nods, standing up. 

“I’ll go, then. Thanks for teaching me what Sunday’s are supposed to be like.” 

“Harry, you don’t have to go, I just meant-”

“No, it’s alright. I should probably get home soon, anyways.”

“At least let me drive you.”

“It’s okay. It’s not raining anymore, so it’s fine,” Harry assures him. “I promise.”

_I’d rather walk alone right now._

_I need some time to think about all of this. Need to get it together._

Harry waves and then walks out the door, leaving Louis confused on the couch.

**

_Text me when you get home_

_8:37 pm_

_Please_

_8:37 pm_

_Wanna make sure you made it safely_

_8:38 pm_

Harry gets home and sends Louis a text to tell him that yes, he made it home. When he flops down onto his bed, he remembers he’s not in his own clothing and sends another message.

_I forgot I was wearing your clothes, sorry !!!!_

_8:57 pm_

Louis responds quickly.

_It’s fine. I kinda like it_

_8:59 pm_

Harry smiles to himself, and falls asleep in his stolen t-shirt and sweatpants. 

**

OCTOBER 13TH 

Harry ignores Louis all day. He doesn’t want to be mean, just thinks maybe he’s getting too close; too attached. 

Louis continues to text him, though. Just random things to try to make Harry smile. Telling him about his day. 

By the end of the day, Harry decides it was a mistake to ignore him. Decides that maybe he doesn’t even deserve Louis.

Louis, who is treating Harry so well. Louis, who is trying to show Harry what he’s been missing out on and convince him it’s worth it.

Louis, who is going to be gone when the one month they agreed upon is over. 

_I’m sorry_

_10:33 pm_

Louis never responds.

**

OCTOBER 14TH

Louis shows up at Harry’s office at the gallery with lunch and a sad smile. Harry is simultaneously surprised and relieved.

“So,” Louis says, eyes trained down as he places the bag on Harry’s desk. “Can we talk about yesterday?” 

“Yes.”

_I owe it to him._

“I’m really sorry for ignoring you.”

“I guess I was just wondering why,” Louis shrugs lightly. “You took off in a hurry the night before, too. Was it something I did? I’d much rather you tell me if I’m making you uncomfortable than just running off to deal with it on your own.” 

“No,” Harry breathes out. “I just started overthinking everything. Got worried I was getting too attached.” His voice comes out in a whisper, but he knows Louis can hear him in the small bubble of his office.

Louis smiles a close-lipped smile that disappears and turns into a frown quickly. “Well,” he says, reaching over to place a soft hand over Harry’s. “I’m going to assume that means you’re having fun, but it also worries me that you think that’s a problem?”

“Well, what happens when the month is over?”

Harry locks eyes with Louis and the two boys search for an answer in the other’s eyes.

“We keep doing this. Or we walk away if you don’t want it anymore.”

Harry nods, but keeps the idea that Louis could choose to walk away in the back of his mind.

**

After his classes are over for the day, Harry goes home to his apartment, to find Louis already sitting in his room, reading the same book from the previous week.

“What?” Harry can’t find any other words.

“Sorry,” Louis snaps the book shut, jumping up from the ground. “Niall let me in on his way out.”

“Oh, that’s fine.”

_I guess?_

“Do you have to study tonight?” Louis sets the book down on Harry’s bed.

“Well…”

“It’s okay if you do. Just thought maybe we could keep watching our show.”

_Our show._

“Oh, honestly,” Harry thinks. “That sounds nice. Had a long day today.”

“Tell me about it,” Louis guides Harry out of his own bedroom and into the living room. “I want to hear everything.”

They sit down on the couch together and Louis sits facing Harry directly, listening intently while Harry rants about anything and everything. 

“Wow, I’m sorry,” Harry laughs as he wraps up his complaining, realizing how heated he got. “Got a little carried away.”

“No,” Louis shakes his head. “I’m here for you. Now,” he reaches for the remote. “Let’s watch and relax.”

Louis puts his arm out, open invitation for Harry to get closer. Harry doesn’t even think twice before leaning into Louis’ side. Louis plays with his hair; running his hands through it, scratching his temple lightly. 

Harry can feel Louis breathing, and the stuttering of his chest any time he laughs at something happening on screen. Harry relaxes himself into oblivion, eventually letting his head fall into Louis’ lap, closing his eyes as he is lulled to sleep by Louis’ gentle caresses. 

**

Harry wakes up in the middle of the night in a panic, remembering he fell asleep on Louis on the couch. But when he looks around, he realizes he’s alone in his own bed. He gets up slowly, tiptoeing out into the living room, where he hears the television on.

“Niall?” He whispers, creeping towards the couch.

But as he gets closer, the light from the TV illuminates a different face, eyes closed.

“Louis?” He whispers, and when there’s no answer, Harry grabs the throw from the back of the couch and drapes it over his body carefully. 

He takes the remote and turns the TV off, looks down at Louis and smiles, then walks quietly back to his room.

Harry doesn’t fall asleep quite as easily as he did on the couch. He can’t get Louis’ sleeping face out of his mind.

**

OCTOBER 15TH

Harry checks his phone when he wakes up again in the morning.

_I’m so embarrassed. Sorry I fell asleep on your couch, but thanks for the blanket x_

_2:46 am_

Harry realizes Louis must have woken up after he went back to bed and slipped out into the night. 

_It’s okay! Thanks for putting me to bed :)_

_8:21 am_

Harry puts his phone on the pillow next to him and gets up to go shower. When Harry’s phone buzzes immediately, it catches his eye.

“What…?”

Harry finds himself looking at a newly set contact photo for Louis, in which he’s smiling cheesily with Harry’s head in his lap. 

Harry would be lying if he said he didn’t like it, so he goes to his camera roll to see the full sized image. 

_WHY WOULD YOU TAKE THAT PICTURE :(_

_8:25 am_

_Because it’s CUTE_

_8:25 am_

Harry smiles to himself, then calls Louis.

“Good morning, Haz,” Louis answers, picking up on the first ring. 

“Good morning,” Harry says back.

“Woah,” Louis goes silent. “Sounds like you just woke up.”

“Oh,” Harry clears his throat. “Sorry.”

“Stop apologizing for everything. Anyways, thanks for not kicking me out when you realized I fell asleep.”

“Of course,” Harry laughs. “Are you on your way to class right now?”

“Yeah, and I’m not happy about it.”

“Tired?”

“Very.”

“So why don’t you skip it and come back to mine and get some more sleep before your next class?”

_What am I saying?_

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“I’m gonna take you up on that. See you in a few.” 

Louis hangs up, and Harry throws his phone onto his bed, groaning. 

**

When Louis knocks on the door a few minutes later, Harry opens it immediately, having been waiting for him.

“Hey again,” Louis smiles, stepping inside, not even moderately concerned by the speed at which Harry answered the door. 

“Hey again,” Harry echoes back. “You can, um,” he stammers as Louis takes off his shoes and drops his bag by the door, already heading for the couch.

“You can sleep in my bed.”

Louis stops in his tracks and looks over his shoulder. 

“If you want,” Harry adds.

“Well, only if that’s okay with you,” Louis retorts.

“Yeah, it’s fine,” Harry scratches the back of his head nervously. “Much more comfortable I’m sure.”

Louis smiles shyly before turning to Harry’s room.

“Thanks,” he stops walking and turns around to face Harry. “Are you…” his eyes dart to the bedroom, then back to Harry. “Did you want to sleep, too?”

“No,” Harry answers firmly, hands waving in front of him. “I was thinking I’d do some cleaning. Maybe make you lunch to take?”

Louis smiles so hard, his eyes crinkle. “That would be so nice of you, Harry.”

Louis turns around and disappears into Harry’s room, leaving the door open behind him.

“Oh, Louis,”Harry calls.

“Yeah?”

“What time is your next class? You know, so I can wake you up.”

“Oh, um, it’s at noon. Thanks again,” Louis calls back.

They drift into a calm quietness in the apartment.

**

Harry does some of his morning stretches he didn’t get to do before Louis arrived, then gets to work tidying the kitchen and living room as quietly as possible. Once he’s done, he prepares Louis a small snack for before he leaves, as well as a sandwich for him to take for his classes.

At quarter after eleven, Harry walks into his bedroom. He stops in the doorway, eyes drawn to gaze at Louis sleeping peacefully, tucked under the covers in his bed. Harry watches the steady rise and fall of his chest, muscles relaxed. 

Harry finds himself wondering if maybe, somehow, Louis could stay; keep himself tucked in the soft spot of Harry’s heart in which he’s already made himself at home. 

“Louis?” Harry whispers, then moves closer when Louis’ body remains perfectly still and unresponsive.

“Louis,” he repeats, standing at the edge of the bed now. 

Again, nothing.

Harry leans over, placing his hand on Louis’ shoulder to gently shake him awake. 

“Hmm?” Louis opens his eyes slowly, smiling when they land on Harry.

“Hi,” he whispers.

“Hi back,” Harry answers. “Sleep well?” 

“Mmhmm,” Louis rolls towards Harry. “Best nap ever. Fell asleep so fast knowing where I was.”

Harry can feel the burn and knows some shade of red is spreading across his cheeks.

“That’s good. Anyways, come eat.”

“I don’t want to get up,” Louis huffs his cheeks and sulks.

“Too bad,” Harry laughs. 

“Carry me, then.”

“What?”

“I carried you to bed last night. Your turn to give me a ride.”

_Yeah, that sounds about fair._

Louis bursts into a fit of giggles as Harry leans down and picks him up effortlessly.

Harry thinks he understands, now. 

The playlist, that is. 

_That feeling when you’re listening to your lover laugh and you can feel the smile growing on your face and you suddenly realize you have a new favourite sound._

Louis giggles and holds on tightly to Harry, face tucked into his chest.

Yeah. Harry understands.

**

“So,” Harry says as Louis puts his shoes on at the door. “I can’t do anything with you tonight. Promised Ni that I would cook and we could put a movie on.”

“Aw, I guess poor Niall probably feels a little abandoned lately,” Louis stands up from where he was tying his laces. “Like I'm stealing you away.”

Louis leans in, head turned, and presses a quick, barely there kiss to Harry’s cheek.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” he smiles. “Have fun.”

And then he’s out the door.

**

“So, how are things going with Louis?” Niall asks as they do the dishes, after they’ve talked about everything else over dinner. 

“Um,” Harry touches his face. “Fine, I guess.” 

“Just fine?”

“Yeah, it’s not that serious,” Harry picks at his fingers.

“Really?” Niall laughs. “Seems pretty serious to me. You guys are always together.”

_That’s because we’re on a timeline._

“We’ve just gotten close.”

“I can tell,” Niall says smugly.

“Stop looking at me like that,” Harry whines.

“Like what?”

“I don’t know…” Harry laughs. 

“Like I’m happy for you?” Niall suggests. “Because I am, H. You’ve been different lately.”

“Different?”

Niall nods. “Happier.”

_I’m happier with Louis?_

_Yeah, maybe._

**

OCTOBER 16TH 

Harry doesn’t see Louis. They text all day long, instead. They keep each other updated on their classes, and every little thing that’s going on. Now that Harry’s more comfortable with Louis conversationally, he realizes how funny and witty he is; how much he makes him laugh.

Harry hopes that he’s making Louis laugh somewhere, too. He can hear it in his head, but it doesn’t hold a candle to the real thing. 

**

OCTOBER 17TH

Harry picks up the phone on the second ring upon seeing Louis’ face light up on his screen.

“Hello?” 

“Harry!” Louis says excitedly. “What are you doing tonight?”

“Hm, I’m not sure...” Harry teases. “What are WE doing tonight?”

Harry would prefer to do something with Louis than stay home alone. 

“I was hoping you’d say something like that. Wanna hit the fall carnival just outside of town?”

Harry would never admit it out loud, but a carnival is definitely on the list of things he’d love to do in a relationship.

“Sounds fun,” he tries to be casual.

“Perfect. I’ll pick you up at eight.”

**

Harry enlists Niall to help him get ready. After changing outfits for the third time that evening, Niall stops trying to hide his apparent joy. 

“Harry.”

“Niall.”

“Look me in the eyes and tell me this still isn’t that serious.”

Harry does as he’s told.

“Come on, Harry...” Niall presses further. 

Harry decides a little bit of honesty won’t ruin everything and blow up what’s actually going on.

“It’s not, I swear. We haven’t even kissed yet.”

A mixed look crosses Niall’s face, a flash of surprise followed by confusion.

“Are you being serious? Why not?”

Harry just shrugs.

“Is it you? Are you scared?”

_Of course I’m scared._

And of course Niall _knows_ he’s scared. He knows Harry better than anyone else. Well, maybe not better than Louis at this point.

“I mean,” Harry starts to say, but he’s interrupted by a knock on the door.

“Ugh,” Harry throws his head back in frustration. “He’s early. I’m not ready yet.”

“I’ll stall him,” Niall offers. “But you have to promise me that if he tries to kiss you tonight, you either let it happen and go with it or let him down easy. Don’t lead him on, Harry.” 

_Am I leading him on?_

_No, we made a deal._

_And I don’t even know how he feels._

Before Harry can respond, Niall is out of his bedroom and chatting with Louis at the front door. Harry knows he doesn’t have much time, so he decides to stick with his black jeans but change into a button down blouse. Once he’s done, he grabs a headscarf off his dresser and slips it onto his head, taming his hair. After one last glance in the mirror, he heads out into the living room.

“Hey, Louis,” he says quietly, not wanting to startle him on the couch.

Louis stands up when he hears Harry’s voice and turns around to face him. “Harry,” his eyes trail up and down Harry’s body quickly, before meeting his eyes again. “You look so good.”

Harry can feel the heat rise to his cheeks and his stomach climb his throat. 

“Thanks, Lou.”

_Lou?_

“You look good, too,” he adds, trying to cover up his external reaction to what just came out of his mouth. 

Niall clears his throat, having witnessed the whole interaction. 

“Okay,” he drawls. “Don’t be out too late,” he jokes, then turns to Louis and adds more seriously, “Take care of my boy.”

“I promise I will,” Louis smiles. “I’ve done a pretty good job so far, don’t you think, Harry?”

_It’s been two weeks. Only two left._

“Yeah,” he smiles. “I’d say so.”

**

“I love this song!” Harry yells in the car, over the volume of the music and the outside noise with the windows rolled all the way down. 

In response, Louis cranks the volume even louder. He looks over at Harry for a brief moment, hands still on the wheel, and watches as Harry sings along happily. 

Harry stops and laughs when he realizes he’s being watched. “What?”

“Nothing,” Louis turns back to look at the road. 

Fifteen minutes later, Louis is pulling into a parking spot and they’re getting out of the car. 

“Ready?” Louis asks as he closes his door behind him.

“Yeah,” Harry smiles and walks over next to him. 

Louis pays each of their five dollar admission fees at the gate, then asks Harry if he likes to go on the rides as they walk into the bustle of the Friday night crowd. 

“Um,” Harry stumbles. “Maybe?”

“What do you mean by ‘maybe’?” Louis laughs, speaking louder to be heard over the crowd.

“Well, I’m not a huge fan of roller coasters.”

“Would you do them if I was sitting next to you?”

Harry pauses, then repeats with more confidence, “Maybe.”

**

Harry watches Louis get on the roller coaster by himself and start talking to the person he’s sitting next to. Louis motions in Harry’s general direction with his hand, then turns to look at him. When Harry brings a hand up to wave, Louis is already smiling and waving back at him. 

The attendant walks over and checks their seatbelts and lowers the restraint, making sure it’s tight. Louis turns back to his conversation with the stranger, but just before the ride takes off, Harry swears Louis winks down at him.

“Alright,” Louis says, when he finds his way back to Harry after the ride is over. “Are you ready to go on it now that you’ve watched me do it?”

“Oh,” Harry says confusedly. “I was just watching. Why would you want to do it again?”

“Well I’ll only do it again if I’m sitting next to you this time. So it’s your call,” Louis shrugs. “But we can keep walking.”

_He would do the same ride twice for me?_

“Um,” Harry bites his lip. “Okay. I’ll do it.”

“Really?” Louis asks excitedly. “Good, because I think that guy was kind of weirded out when I reached for his hand.”

Harry is certain this time that Louis winks at him. He wraps an arm around Harry’s waist and walks him towards the back of the line. 

“You okay?” Louis asks once they’re seated on the roller coaster a few minutes later. 

Harry looks straight ahead. “Yeah, I think so.”

_No! Why did I agree to this?_

“Haz.”

Harry swallows. “Yeah?” 

“We can get off. It’s not too late.”

“No!” Harry exclaims, set on proving himself. “I mean, it’s fine.”

The attendant comes over and tugs on their seatbelts before lowering the restraints until they click. Once she’s gone, Louis reaches over and puts his hand on top of Harry’s. 

“I’ve got you,” he whispers, looking at Harry while Harry stares straight ahead. 

Louis holds Harry’s hand the whole time.

And Harry lets him. 

**

“That was incredible!” Harry yells loudly as they exit the ride.

“Yeah?” Louis smiles.

“Yeah!” Harry looks at Louis intently.

_I wouldn’t have done it if I hadn’t met him._

_I wouldn’t have even come here if I hadn’t met him._

Louis seems to read the strange look on Harry’s face and tilts his head questioningly. Harry just shakes it off and suggests they get cotton candy. 

Harry insists on paying, and finally, Louis lets him. 

When Harry turns around, Louis is talking to another couple and handing them his phone.

_Of course._

Harry walks over to him, indulging him in his affinity for photographs. He wraps an arm around Louis’ shoulder and turns his body sideways to face Louis, using the other arm to hold the cotton candy between them. When Harry moves it closer to Louis’ face, he throws his head back in laughter and Harry is pleased with himself. 

“Thank you so much,” Louis says, pulling away from Harry and walking towards the couple holding his phone.

Harry had forgotten the couple was there for a moment. Forgotten they were even posing for a picture. 

“Okay, let’s walk and eat this. Maybe find another ride you’d be willing to do?”

Now that Harry’s done the roller coaster, he thinks he can handle anything with Louis.

**

“Louis, you really don’t have to,” Harry giggles as Louis tries for the third time to win one of the rigged games.

“Harry, I promised you relationship things. This is one of them. Now,” he turns back around, eyes narrowed on the target. “I’m going to win you one of these stuffed animals.”

After another three tries, Louis finally does it. A crowd that had gathered to watch cheers for him, and even Harry gets into it.

“You did it!” Harry wraps his arms around Louis’ shoulders, but releases quickly when he realizes this is the first time they’ve ever so much as hugged and they’re in public, where there are people watching them. 

Louis looks at him with big eyes, then turns to the vendor, then back to Harry. 

“Okay, choose which one you want.” 

Harry chooses a giant bear and the two walk away from the game happily.

**

“The fireworks are at eleven, so if we get in line now, we might be able to be on the ferris wheel for them.”

“There’s fireworks?”

“Every night of the carnival,” Louis nods. “Did you want to watch them?”

“Yeah,” Harry smiles, squeezing the bear in his arms. “Sounds nice.”

Somehow, Louis had timed it perfectly, and at 10:59 pm, the two of them find themselves almost at the top of the ferris wheel. 

Louis takes a quick picture of Harry looking out over the lights of the rides, then puts his phone away.

“Harry?” 

_Is he gonna kiss me?_

Niall’s words flash in Harry’s mind. 

_Let it happen or let him down._

“Yeah, Lou?”

“Can I tell you something?”

Harry swallows hard, then nods nervously. 

Louis smiles softly. “I’m really happy with you.”

The fireworks start, and neither of them say anything after that.

**

Louis slips his hand in Harry’s as they walk towards the car, but still looks over at him for permission. Harry just nods, having grown to be completely relaxed with Louis’ hand in his.

When they get to the car, Louis doesn’t let go of his hand right away, but instead walks him to the passenger door. Harry turns with his back to the door and looks down at his feet to see Louis’ getting closer to his own. Harry drops the giant teddy bear in surprise.

Louis brings a hand up to Harry’s face and tucks a loose curl behind his ear before gently placing his palm on Harry’s cheek.

“This okay?” Louis’ gaze falls from Harry’s eyes down to his lips, then slowly back up to meet his eyes.

“Mmhmm,” Harry hums.

“Can I kiss you, Harry?” Louis asks, lips already mere inches from Harry’s.

The words float in the air for a moment, held up by silence, the moment dangling between them.

“Mmhmm,” Harry repeats, then closes his eyes slowly. 

Still, Harry hesitates. He stays motionless where he is and waits for Louis to move in. 

Louis brushes their lips together tentatively for the first time, sensing Harry’s reservation. When Louis pulls away and looks at Harry through fluttering eyelashes, Harry nods and leans into it once more. 

And Harry feels _it._ He doesn't know what _it_ is, but he knows it’s good. It’s everything he didn’t know he’d been waiting for all this time. 

Louis’ lips are soft against Harry’s own, and he moves slowly, keeping one hand tender against Harry’s cheek, and the other resting on his waist. Feeling Louis’ hands on his body makes Harry realize that his own are still just dangling at his sides. Unsure of what he should be doing, he places them on top of Louis’ shoulders. 

Every single one of Harry’s senses are on fire, but mostly he just notices the sweet lingering taste of cotton candy. 

Louis pulls away first. 

There’s a long moment where Louis looks at Harry, and Harry looks anywhere but at Louis.

Harry keeps his lips pressed together, trying to contain the smile threatening to grow on his face. He shakes his head shortly, still trying to keep it away as he looks up towards the sky. 

“Thank you,” Louis finally says as he removes the hand from Harry’s face, but leaves the one on his waist right where it is. 

Harry wants to laugh, but Louis looks serious. 

“What are you thanking me for?”

“For letting me kiss you.”

“Oh,” Harry says. “Um.”

“You don’t have to say anything. I just wanted to thank you for letting that happen. I’ve been wanting to kiss you for so long, but I knew I had to wait until I thought maybe you wanted it, too.”

Harry just nods, not suppressing his smile anymore.

“You should have kissed me sooner, then.”

Louis leans forward to steal one more kiss, soft and slow. 

“Anyways,” Louis slowly withdraws his hand from Harry’s waist. “Let’s get out of here.”

**

They start to drive back towards the city, and as Louis takes the exit off the highway, he asks suddenly, “do you want to come back to mine?”

Harry doesn’t know how to answer that. 

As if Louis can read him, he immediately tells Harry not to worry. 

“I just,” he continues. “I don’t know. Have you ever fallen asleep next to someone before?”

Harry keeps his eyes trained on the road out the window. “No.”

Without taking his eyes off the road, Louis reaches for Harry’s hand across the console and links his fingers between Harry’s. 

“Well then I want to be the first. Do you want that, too?”

Harry swallows hard, then looks over at Louis, who’s still not looking at him. “Yes.”

Louis squeezes his hand in response.

**

“You okay?” Louis asks, after Harry emerges from the washroom where he spent a lot of time splashing water on his face, convincing himself he could handle this level of closeness. 

“Yeah,” Harry breathes out, telling himself to relax.

“Hey,” Louis says, moving closer. “I can take you home if you want.”

“No,” Harry steps closer too. “It’s fine.”

Louis brings a hand up to Harry’s face, swipes his thumb along his cheekbone quickly, then removes it. He turns around and moves to his bed, where he pulls the covers back for Harry to climb in. Once Harry lies down, Louis goes and turns out the light before sliding in next to him.

_This is fine._

Harry lays on his back and stares up at the ceiling, and Louis does the same next to him. 

After a long moment, Louis turns over onto his side to face Harry.

“Harry? Can I hold you?”

Harry turns his head to look at the boy beside him. “Please,” he chokes out, hoping it doesn’t come across as desperate.

Louis doesn’t seem to mind either way. He shifts quickly to wrap an arm around Harry’s waist while the other hand scratches lightly at his temple. 

_This is nice._

“This okay?” Louis asks.

“Mmhmm,” Harry purrs. “Can I tell you something?”

“Anything.”

“Promise not to laugh.”

“I promise.” Louis tugs gently at Harry’s hair. 

Harry wriggles his way out of Louis’ arms and turns to face him. 

“Tonight…” Harry trails off, trying to get back the confidence to say it out loud. “You were my first kiss.”

Louis doesn’t look like he’s going to laugh. Not even one bit.

“Harry…” he reaches up for Harry’s face in the dark. “Kiss me again?”

“Okay,” Harry breathes out, already leaning closer. 

Their lips connect again and somehow it already feels familiar. The taste of Louis’ mouth, the shape of his lips, the feel of their noses brushing together. It’s like Harry had been kissing him for years. It’s also like maybe Harry wasn’t supposed to kiss anyone before Louis.

Louis pulls away with a soft smack. 

“It’s nice, right?”

“Mmhmm,” Harry sighs with his eyes still closed, already craving it again. 

Louis leans forward, reading his mind. They kiss slowly in the dark, exploring each others’ mouths. Harry feels helpless as Louis inhales deeply against his mouth, pressing closer.

“Okay,” Louis breathes against Harry’s mouth, forehead pressed to Harry’s now. “Let’s go to sleep, yeah?”

Harry just nods.

“Turn around, then.”

Harry rolls over and lets himself be held by Louis as he drifts asleep. 

_This is all I need._

**

OCTOBER 18TH

Harry wakes up to the smell of something cooking in the kitchen. He stretches out, stands up, and heads out of the room in just Louis’ sweatpants he slept in. In the kitchen, he finds Louis standing over the stove, also wearing nothing but the sweatpants he went to bed in. 

“Good morning,” Louis says over the sizzle of the frying pan. “Realized this would be our first morning together. I obviously had to cook.”

Harry smiles at Louis, walking over to stand beside him. “You didn’t have to, but thank you.”

Louis turns his head towards Harry. “Listen, I didn’t say this was going to be good. I’m an awful cook. These just might be the worst eggs you’ve ever eaten, so don’t thank me yet.”

Harry laughs, then, unable to resist the temptation ( _he’s just right there_ ), he pecks Louis’ cheek quickly. 

Neither of them say anything after that, and Harry pours them both some juice before sitting at the kitchen table.

“Voilà,” Louis says defeatedly, placing a plate in front of Harry.

“Oh,” Harry comments, looking at the food in front of him. “You know, I think the plating alone deserves a ten out of ten.”

Louis laughs, sitting across from Harry. “I hope it tastes as good as it looks.”

Harry uses his fork to pick at his fruit first, then eats his toast. 

They eat in silence until Louis notices that all Harry has left on his plate are the eggs.

“Moment of truth,” he mumbles.

Harry shrugs and takes a bite. By no means are they excellent, but they’re fine. Edible. Good, even.

“They’re good, Louis,” he smiles.

Louis looks relieved. 

When they finish eating, Harry stands up with his plate and walks around the table to take Louis’, as well. He carries them over to the sink and rinses them off before grabbing the dish soap. 

Harry hears Louis approaching, and can feel him standing right behind him.

“This okay?” He whispers, without making any physical contact.

“Yeah,” Harry answers softly, continuing to wash the plates.

Louis wraps his arms around Harry’s waist and rests his head on Harry’s back. He stays there, just holding Harry, until Harry has done all of the dishes in the sink. 

Louis lets out a small whine when Harry moves and turns around to face him. 

Harry looks at him questioningly. 

“I just never want to not be holding you now.”

Harry thinks he might throw up. 

Instead, he moves in to wrap his arms around Louis’ shoulders so that they can hold each other.

**

“I have plans with Zayn and Liam tonight,” Louis says while they’re sitting on the couch, unable to keep their hands off each other. “But you can come, if you want.”

“Hmm,” Harry thinks, tilting his head back to look at Louis as he brings a hand up to his cheek. “Maybe next time. When you can give them more notice. I don’t want to intrude.”

“I’m sure they would be happy to have you there,” Louis defends quickly, playing with Harry’s hair.

“And I believe you,” Harry smiles up at him. “Just, next time, okay?” 

Louis returns the smile and turns his attention to the TV, which neither of them had been paying attention to before. 

Harry isn’t ready to not have Louis’ attention on him. So he sits up quickly and turns to face him. Louis watches this motion, smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. 

Harry pretends to pout until Louis kisses it right off his mouth.

“This is still okay?” He pauses to ask.

“Just kiss me,” Harry answers breathily.

Louis lays Harry down gently on the couch and follows him down, kissing him until neither of them can think anymore. 

**

OCTOBER 19TH

Harry doesn’t even hear from Louis all day.

It actually hurts him. More than he ever thought it would.

He’s worried maybe kissing Louis was the end of it. Louis decided it had gone too far and now he’s gone. 

Harry kind of misses him.

He can hear Louis’ voice in his head:

_You’re not supposed to do anything on Sundays. They’re made for lounging around and being lazy, dreading Monday._

He wonders what Louis is doing.

**

OCTOBER 20TH

Harry is woken up to a loud, persistent knocking on the door. He knows that Niall is already gone for an early lab, so he sighs and rolls out of bed to answer it. 

“I’m coming,” he calls as the knocking continues. 

When he opens the door, Louis is standing there, looking shaken.

“Oh my god,” Louis practically launches himself into Harry’s arms, pressing close against his bare chest. “You’re okay.”

Harry hugs him back, but remains confused. “Of course I’m okay. What’s going on?” 

“I’m so sorry,” Louis whispers before pulling away. “I ended up staying out really late with the boys and getting so drunk and was nursing the worst hangover of my life yesterday,” he runs his hands along Harry’s forearms. “And then Niall called this morning, said you were bedridden all day yesterday because you were so sick.”

_Of course Niall would say something like that._

“So then I just felt even worse. And I was worried you would be angry thinking that I ignored you all day and so I ran all the way over here and-”

“Lou,” Harry laughs. “I’m fine. And it’s okay.”

“So why did Niall say that?” He asks, still out of breath from speaking so fast.

“Well, I mean,” Harry shifts his weight from side to side and pinches his lips together. “I did kind of stay hidden away in my room all day. Thought I did something wrong and you decided we had gone far and long enough.”

“Harry,” Louis’ face drops and he throws his arms around Harry’s neck again. “I promise I would never just walk away like that,” he whispers. “I would absolutely owe you an explanation.”

When he pulls away again, he smiles softly.

“Besides, you’re stuck with me for a little while longer,” he laughs, then adds quietly, almost hopefully, “at least.”

**

After their classes, Louis returns to Harry’s apartment. Harry isn’t going to say anything about it, but he thinks Louis is trying to make up for the previous day.

“So what do you want to do tonight?” Louis asks as they walk in the front door of the building. 

They bound up the stairs together.

“I actually really need to do laundry,” Harry laughs. 

“Sounds like fun. I’ll help.”

“It’s really just a one person job,” Harry says.

_And my dirty laundry…_

“Oh,” Louis says, sounding disappointed. “Do you want me to go? You know you can always tell me to piss off.”

_I would never do that._

“I know,” Harry laughs, unlocking the door to his apartment. “But I never said you should leave. I’m just saying I can do my own laundry. Wouldn’t subject you to that.”

Louis chuckles, following Harry inside.

“It’s okay,” he slips off his shoes, clearly deciding to stay in spite of how Harry wants to spend his evening. “I’m honestly down to do any chores with you. Even the worst ones.” 

Harry smiles to himself and goes to get the two baskets he wants to do for the night.

“Ready?” He asks a still smiling Louis in the living room.

“Ready.”

**

They move quietly through the laundry room, working around each other as if they’ve done this countless times before; Louis gets the detergents ready as Harry swipes his pass and runs the water, Harry puts his clothing in one machine as Louis puts the towels in the other. 

Once both washing machines are running, Harry turns his back to one and slides down to the ground. Louis does the same, sitting next to him. The thrum of the machine vibrates against their backs.

“Hey, Harry? Can I tell you something?”

When Harry looks over and it looks like Louis is feeling _something_ , he wraps an arm around his shoulder without thinking twice and Louis fits right in.

“Anything.”

“My last boyfriend,” he starts. “He broke up with me because he decided I wasn’t worth the time and energy a relationship needed.”

“Louis…” Harry pulls away slightly to look at the boy tucked beneath his arm.

“It’s fine,” he says, sensing Harry’s pity as he sits up. “I just wanted to tell you so that if you ever feel like I’m not treating you the way you deserve…” he trails off. “You tell me.”

“But Louis-”

“Plus,” he smiles at Harry. “It really is fine because I got to meet you.”

Louis lays his head back down on Harry’s shoulder, making it clear that’s the end of the conversation.

Harry doesn’t break the comfortable silence to tell Louis that nobody has ever treated him as well as he does. 

**

OCTOBER 21ST

Around the time Louis normally shows up for lunch at Harry’s office, there’s a knock on the glass door.

“Come in,” Harry says without looking up from his computer, fully expecting it to be Louis standing outside.

“Harry?” The voice of the girl from the front desk makes Harry look up.

“Oh,” he answers, surprised. “Yes?”

“These were sent for you.” She sets down a vase of flowers and turns around to leave.

“Thank you,” Harry says slowly, though she’s already gone.

He picks up the card. 

_Sorry I couldn’t make lunch today. Hope you like violet lilacs. The florist chose them when I was talking about you but wouldn’t tell me what they represent. I just thought they were pretty. See you later x_

Harry smiles, then swallows hard. He knows what violet lilacs mean. 

_The first pangs of love._

He decides Louis doesn’t need to know.

**

Harry knocks on Louis’ door in the evening. 

Zayn is the one who answers it.

“Louis!” he calls, looking over his shoulder. “Your boyfriend is here.”

Harry bites his bottom lip. 

_Boyfriend._

Zayn moves away from the door, allowing Harry to step inside. Just as he does, Louis comes bounding out from his room.

“Hey,” he smiles.

“Hey, back.”

Louis stops in front of Harry’s feet, still smiling hard. 

They both hear Zayn scoff from nearby.

“I get it now,” Zayn laughs. “Why you were always so annoyed with me and Liam at the start.” 

Harry and Louis look from Zayn to each other, then back to Zayn.

Zayn laughs once more and walks out of the room. 

“So,” Harry turns back to Louis. “I really need to get some work done tonight,” he pauses, noticing the sad look on Louis’ face. “But I just came by to say thank you for the flowers.”

“What flowers?” Louis asks innocently.

“What?”

“I didn’t send you any flowers…”

_What?_

Louis starts to laugh. “Just kidding.”

Harry hits him jokingly. 

“Sorry, but you should have seen your face.”

“Whatever,” Harry acts bitter, but can’t bite the smile back. “Anyways, I really do have a lot of work to do for my job.”

Louis reaches for Harry’s hand. “Can you do it here?” 

Harry opens his mouth to answer.

“Please?”

**

Harry doesn’t get much work done with Louis around to distract him. 

When he finally goes home, he cracks down, forcing himself to be productive.

He works all night.

**

OCTOBER 22ND

“Louis, stop.”

Louis immediately pulls his hands away and takes a step back from Harry, pain visible in his eyes from making Harry upset.

“No,” Harry realizes he’s in the wrong, and he doesn’t want to start a fight over something so mundane.

“I’m sorry,” Harry breathes out, eyes closed. “I’m just exhausted. I didn’t sleep at all last night.”

“Harry,” Louis steps marginally closer again, arms held out as a question.

Harry answers by stepping right into them. Being wrapped in Louis’ embrace makes Harry forget all his stress for a moment, and he feels as though he could fall asleep in that comfort, right then and there.

_I would have slept fine last night if he was holding me like this._

Harry chases that thought away by pulling back from Louis.

“I’ve got to go to class,” he walks backwards towards the door of Louis’ apartment. “I’ll see you when I’m done?”

Louis just nods and watches as he leaves.

**

_Let me know when you’re on your way back_

_7:53 pm_

_Night classes are stupid_

_7:53 pm_

_I hope you’re staying awake_

_7:53 pm_

_I miss you. Hurry home x_

_7:59 pm_

Harry responds to Louis’ texts as he walks out into the brisk evening air. 

_Leaving now_

_8:31 pm_

He thinks about addressing Louis’ last text; the message that said Louis missed him though he had only been gone for two hours, the message that referred to his apartment as ‘home’ for Harry.

He decides against it.

Harry knocks on the door not even ten minutes later, and when nobody opens the door, he tries the handle. 

The door opens.

“Louis?” Harry calls into the darkness, mind racing with concern. 

Suddenly, there’s light in the apartment, and Harry quickly notices the fairy lights strung all throughout the place. Not long after, he notices the rose petals scattered on the ground. A hand comes up to cover his mouth as he drops his backpack in the middle of the living room and follows the flowers towards the bathroom. There, he finds more fairy lights, candles, and Louis, sitting on the edge of the filled bathtub, waiting for him. 

“Surprise?” Louis says, standing up as soon as Harry enters. 

“Louis,” Harry lets his hand drop, brain running, trying to find words that aren’t just _Louis, Louis, Louis._

“What is all this?” Harry wills himself not to get emotional, but he isn’t sure how long he’ll hold out. It doesn’t help that he’s extremely tired.

“I just wanted to surprise you. I know you said you didn’t sleep last night, so I thought maybe I could help. And maybe you would consider spending the night after taking a warm bath?”

Apparently, the answer is _not long at all._

“Oh no, Harry,” Louis frowns. “I’m sorry.”

Harry wipes at his damp eyes quickly, begging himself to reel it in. 

“No, don’t be sorry. This is just,” Harry motions to the whole room. “This is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me, Lou.”

Louis raises his eyebrows, wordlessly asking if he can get closer. Harry steps forward, allowing himself to be wrapped in Louis’ arms once again. Louis strokes Harry’s hair gently, trying to soothe him the best as possible. 

“Okay,” Louis pulls back, keeping his hands on Harry’s forearms. “I’m going to go finish setting up the bed. You have a nice soak and I’ll come back when you’re done.”

Louis kisses him then, long and sweet. He steps away slowly and pulls the bathroom door shut behind him.

Harry allows himself another moment to admire the beauty of the gesture, then undresses and slips into the tub to feel his muscles relax instantly. 

**

“Harry?” 

There’s a light knock on the door. 

“Are you all done? I left some sweatpants in there for you.”

“Yeah,” Harry says back, through the door. “Just putting them on now.”

“Okay, can I come in?”

“Um,” Harry is taken aback, but finishes pulling his pants up to his hips. “Yeah, I guess.”

Louis opens the door slowly and cautiously, then peaks his head inside. 

“Ready?”

“For?”

“Bed?”

“Yeah.”

Louis steps fully inside now, and in one swift motion, scoops Harry into his arms.

“This okay?” He asks, standing in place until Harry agrees.

“Yeah,” Harry wraps his arms around Louis’ neck and rests his head on his chest.

Louis turns to walk out of the bathroom, but Harry’s feet are stopped by the doorframe.

“Ow,” Harry jokes.

“Sorry,” Louis laughs. “I could pay Liam and Zayn to help me set this up, but they both drew the line at practicing this part.”

Harry giggles and nuzzles his head closer into Louis’ neck. 

Louis successfully makes it to his room, where he has more fairy lights set up, and places Harry down on what has become his side of the bed. He crawls over Harry, lays down next to him and pulls the blanket up to their chests.

“It’s so warm,” Harry sighs, breathing in a fresh smell of lavender.

“Threw it in the dryer,” Louis explains. 

“You really did all of this for me?” Harry asks quietly, adjusting himself to lay his head on Louis’ chest. 

“Yeah.”

“Why?”

“Why not?”

Harry falls asleep. 

**

OCTOBER 23RD

“Hey, Harry?” Louis says, as he lies on his back reading one of Harry’s books.

“Yeah?” Harry answers from where he’s laying next to Louis on his stomach, closing his laptop to give him his full attention.

“Remember when I looked through your music?” Louis finally closes his book, rests it on his chest, and turns his head to look over at Harry. 

_No._

“Vaguely,” he says.

“Well,” Louis smiles. “One of the bands you listen to is playing just a city over next weekend so I was wondering if you wanted to take a little trip?”

Harry scrambles off of his stomach and sits up, crossing his legs. Louis sits up to face him.

“Which one?”

‘“The Remnants?”

Harry doesn’t want to sound overeager, overexcited. 

“Really?” 

He can feel the smile on his face.

“Really. So do you want to go?” 

Harry pauses a moment, imagining what a weekend road trip with Louis might look like.

“Yes.”

Louis looks relieved.

“I was seriously hoping you’d say that.”

“Why?”

Louis smiles. 

“Because I already bought the tickets.”

Harry lunges forward and throws his arms around Louis, tackling him over and laying on top of him.

Before Harry can say anything, Louis tilts his head up and kisses the ‘thank you’ right out of his mouth.

**

OCTOBER 24TH

“Harry, I need to focus,” Louis whines with a trace of encouragement.

“Okay,” Harry removes his hands from Louis’ hair. “Sorry.”

Harry kisses the top of Louis’ head before crawling over from where he was kneeling behind Louis to sit beside him.

Louis hums, evidently waiting for Harry to address him.

“Yes, Louis?”

“Well, the thing is,” he looks from his laptop to Harry. “I still need attention.”

“But you need to focus,” Harry replies sternly.

“Harry,” he drawls, throwing his head back in fake agony.

“Okay, okay,” Harry laughs. “Fine.”

Harry moves back to where he was kneeling before, hooks his chin over Louis’ shoulder, and traces shapes with his fingertips into Louis’ back. This appeases Louis, who hums and gets back to his work as they return to a sense of serenity in Harry’s bedroom at seven o’clock in the evening.

**

OCTOBER 25TH

Louis comes over while Niall is out with some friends. They put a movie on Harry’s laptop, but it ends up just being background noise as they make out lazily in his bed.

“Harry?” Louis asks, pulling his mouth from Harry’s. 

“Yeah?” 

“Remember when you told me I was your first kiss?” Louis whispers, though it’s just the two of them.

Harry groans. “Obviously.”

“Well, I was just thinking…” Louis brushes his hand across Harry’s face. “That probably means you’ve never been…” he trails off again. “Touched.”

Harry swallows hard. 

“Can I touch you, Harry?”

Louis is right. Before him, the only touch Harry has ever known is his own.

“You don’t have to say yes if you don’t want me to. I don’t want you to feel pressured.”

“No,” Harry says quickly. “It’s okay. I mean,” he looks at Louis. “Can you? Please?” 

“Okay,” Louis keeps his voice hushed, already adjusting his body position. “Just relax, Haz.”

Harry remains as still as possible as Louis unbuttons his jeans. Even just the little bit of pressure from this motion sends blood right to Harry’s cock. He groans as Louis’ hand brushes up against him while he slides his pants down. 

“Okay,” Louis whispers still, pressing his palm over Harry’s underwear and into his already half-hard cock. 

Harry writhes and gasps and bites down hard into his cheek in anticipation.

Louis slides Harry’s underwear down and encourages him to lift his hips to help take them off. Once Harry is pantless, Louis tugs at his shirt gently.

“Probably want to keep this clean, yeah?” 

Harry nods and sits up, allowing Louis to pull the shirt over his head. As Harry lies back down, Louis looks right at him and says, “you’re so beautiful, Harry.”

Harry shivers at the words at the same time as Louis wraps a soft hand around him. Harry tilts his head back in pleasure, hands gripping the sheets under him.

All Harry can think about is how different it feels than doing it himself.

Louis pumps his fist slowly, watching Harry squirm under his touch.

“Lou,” Harry moans. “I’m not,” Harry can’t catch his breath to get the words out.

“It’s okay, baby,” Louis hushes him. “Don’t worry.”

_Baby, baby, baby._

Louis slows his hand to a stop before letting go completely, causing Harry to whine. Louis adjusts his position again and leans his head down towards Harry’s stomach.

“This okay?” He asks.

“Yes,” Harry breathes out, reflexively lifting his hips, craving contact again. 

Louis leaves a trail of kisses up Harry’s stomach all the way to his chest, then up to one side of his neck, biting gently at his skin and kissing it right after. 

Harry lets out a high whine, and Louis brushes his nose against his neck, reaching out and taking Harry’s cock in his hand again. With just a few more tugs, he has Harry coming with a cry.

Louis continues to stroke Harry through his orgasm as he spills against his own chest and into Louis’ hand. 

If Harry wasn’t already lying down, he knows he’d collapse from the strength of it.

“I’m sorry,” he huffs out, feeling sated and boneless.

“For what?” Louis asks, giggling and lying down next to Harry.

“That’s so embarrassing.”

Louis sits up straight again, looking at Harry seriously. “Harry, no, don’t be embarrassed. Not even a little bit.”

Harry continues to pant as he tries to catch his breath.

“I feel so lucky to be the first and only person to be able to see you come apart like that.” Louis stands up, not giving Harry time to answer. “Now, let’s get you cleaned up and then we’ll go to sleep.” He says, then turns around to head for the bathroom to grab a cloth to wipe up with.

“Don’t you want me to-”

“No.” Louis turns around to look at Harry again. “I mean, obviously, I do,” he corrects himself. “But tonight was just about you, okay?”

Harry just nods and then lets his head fall back on the pillow again. He hears the sink start to run, and Louis returns shortly after with a wet cloth.

“Thank you,” Harry smiles as Louis wipes gently at his chest. 

Louis doesn’t say anything, but continues to wipe until Harry is completely clean again. He puts the washcloth on Harry’s bedside table when he’s done. 

“I can’t believe that just happened,” Harry says in the dark once Louis is laying next to him. “I mean, really, we’ve still only known each other for about three weeks.”

“Feels longer to me.”

Harry lets out a breath.

“We can slow down, though, Harry. Just say the word.” 

“That’s not what I meant.”

“Then what did you mean?” Louis asks, curiosity tinged in his voice. 

“I’m not sure,” Harry sighs. “I think it’s like what you said. It does feel like it’s been longer. But it hasn’t been. So now, I’ve known you for three weeks and you’ve seen me naked.”

“Hm,” Louis hums, rolling over to face Harry and pressing a light, barely there, kiss to his neck. “Seen you come, too.”

“Oh, shut up.”

**

OCTOBER 26TH

Harry makes breakfast for the two of them in the morning, making sure to make extra for Niall in case he’s home.

“Mm, smells good,” Louis says, walking out of the bathroom. 

“Good morning,” Harry smiles as Louis gets closer.

“Can I kiss you?” 

“I don’t know,” Harry pulls his head away, laughing. “How’s your breath?”

“Brushed my teeth already,” Louis leans forward, and Harry lets him. 

Harry drops the spatula he’s holding onto the stove and wraps his arms around Louis’ shoulders. Louis pulls him closer by the hips and parts his lips with his tongue, making Harry gasp at the force of it. Louis bites gently at Harry’s lip before soothing it and going back to kissing the daylights out of him.

“Oh my god.”

Harry jumps away from Louis as fast as humanly possible, grin on his face. He looks over at Niall standing in the living room, and he just groans. 

“Nice to see you here, Tommo.”

Louis gives him a small salute.

“I’m going back into my room. I’ll eat when the two of you are done. And,” he turns to Harry. “Don’t forget it’s your turn to do the shopping today.” 

Harry nods, then watches as Niall turns back into his room.

The two of them break out into laughter once the door closes, and Harry turns to taste the sound on Louis’ tongue. 

**

“I love grocery shopping,” Harry says, swinging his and Louis’ hands between them as they walk down the produce aisle.

“Really?”

“Mmhmm,” Harry reaches for some tomatoes.

“Funny, that actually doesn’t surprise me.”

They spend way too long in the grocery store.

Harry prances down the aisles, and Louis always chases after him.

Truthfully, Harry hated grocery shopping until the moment he spoke the words out loud with Louis’ hand in his. 

**

From his spot on the couch, Harry reaches his hand over and traces it up and down Louis’ leg with his fingertips, inching higher and higher on each gentle stroke. Harry can hear Louis’ intake of breath and can feel the flexing of his muscles. 

“Harry,” he exhales.

Harry gets up from his spot and drops to his knees on the floor between Louis’ legs, looking up at him nervously. He tugs at the waistband of Louis’ sweatpants, sliding them down to his ankles. 

Harry takes an audibly deep breath as he looks up at Louis, before running his hands up his thighs.

“Hey, hey,” Louis stutters as he grabs Harry’s hands, clearly wanting to be taken seriously. He leans forward toward where Harry’s sitting on the ground. “You don’t have to.”

Harry sighs and sits back on his heels. “I’m just a little nervous, I guess.”

“That’s okay, babe,” Louis answers quickly, one hand reaching up to cradle Harry’s face. “I promise you I don’t mind. There’s no rush.”

_What if in a week you decide I’m not enough for you?_

“Just,” Louis continues. “If you ever do feel ready, let me know.”

Harry looks down as Louis swipes his thumb across his cheek.

“Then we’ll figure it out,” Louis smiles. “Together.”

**

OCTOBER 27TH

“Louis, is everything okay?” 

They’ve been on the phone for ten minutes, and Harry realizes Louis just doesn’t sound like himself. It’s like he was trying at the start, but as the call goes on, he can’t seem to be bothered to pretend.

“Yeah,” Louis sighs heavily into the phone. “Just having a rough day, I guess.”

“Do you want me to come over?” 

There’s a moment’s pause.

“Would you mind?”

“I’ll be right there, Lou.”

**

Harry knocks on Louis’ door ten minutes later. He’s more surprised than he should be when Zayn is the one who opens the door, considering he also lives there. 

“Hey, Harry.”

“Hey.”

“Louis is in his room,” Zayn steps aside to let Harry in. 

As Harry goes to walk further inside, Zayn stops him with a hand on his arm. 

“Be gentle, okay?” Zayn whispers. “He just gets in his own head, sometimes.”

Harry just nods.

Zayn lets him go, looking at him in a way that says he’s hopeful he can handle this with care.

Harry walks towards Louis’ room and opens the door slowly, not sure what to expect. 

“Hey Louis,” he whispers. “It’s just me,” he adds, when he sees Louis’ head snap up from where he’s sitting on the corner of his bed, leaning back against the wall. 

“Hey, Haz,” Louis smiles a small smile. 

“What’s going on, Lou?” Harry sits slowly next to him.

Louis shrugs. “I don’t know. Just a bad day.”

“Okay…” Harry says, smoothing Louis’ hair with one hand. “Wanna tell me what you’re feeling though? I want to know why it’s a bad day.”

Louis huffs and turns to look at Harry. 

“Harry, do you think I’m…”

_How does this question end?_

“Do you think I’m…” he tries again. “Enough?”

“What?” Harry asks in surprise. “Of course, Louis.”

Louis smiles, then moves around until he can comfortably lay his head in Harry’s lap. Harry continues to smooth through his hair. 

Louis doesn’t look at Harry when he asks, “so do you think we could ever be enough?”

“Baby,” Harry lets the word slip through his lips too quickly, mind flashing back to when Louis called him that in bed and his mind flew into obscurity. “We are enough.” 

Louis sits up slowly. 

“Could you please hold me?”

Harry wraps his arms around Louis and pulls him close, laying them both down onto the pillow.

Louis falls asleep quickly, and Harry lays awake, not willing to leave him alone. 

What feels like a long time later, there’s a light knock on the door, before Zayn opens it slowly. Harry acknowledges him without making too much movement too fast. He sits up carefully as Zayn sits on the edge of the bed next to him.

“Thanks for taking such good care of him,” he says.

Harry doesn’t say anything. 

“Are you gonna stay with him when this is over?”

“What?”

“He told me, Harry. I know that this is some sort of contract, time limit relationship.”

Harry casts his eyes away and looks over to Louis, still sleeping soundly. 

“I’m not judging you,” Zayn chuckles quietly. “It’s kind of cute, really. But the two of you are going to figure out how to make this last longer than a month, right?”

Harry doesn’t tear his eyes away from Louis.

“I hope so.”

**

OCTOBER 28TH

When Harry blinks his eyes open in the morning, Louis is already looking right at him.

“Good morning,” Harry smiles.

“Good morning,” Louis brings a hand up to Harry’s cheek.

Harry closes his eyes and nuzzles into Louis’ hand.

“Thank you for staying,” Louis whispers as the sunlight creeps in through the curtains. 

Harry smiles.

“Will you keep staying?”

Harry nods.

“Of course.”

_I’ll always stay._

“Good, because I’m not ready to stop cuddling, yet.”

Louis slides closer, and Harry takes the hint, putting his arm out for Louis to curl into. Louis rests his head on Harry’s chest, and Harry just smiles at the boy tucked in his arm.

“Comfortable? This is still okay?”

Even when Louis is feeling vulnerable, he still finds a way to make sure Harry is doing alright.

Harry just presses a kiss into Louis’ hair and tries to go back to sleep for a little while.

**

“Harry, Harry.”

Harry opens his eyes upon hearing Louis calling him.

“You’ve got class, babe.”

Harry quickly gets his bearings, checks the time, and looks at Louis. Louis might know his schedule by now, but Harry also knows Louis’.

Harry rubs the sleep from his eyes. “What about you?” 

“I didn’t go,” Louis answers sheepishly. “Didn’t feel like getting up and leaving you, yet.”

“Okay,” Harry nods. “Then I won’t go, either.”

Louis shakes his head, trying to hide his happiness from Harry’s decision. 

“No, you shouldn’t miss class for me.”

“I want to.”

“And what about work?” Louis presses.

“I’ll do it here.”

Louis dives back into the bed, alternating kisses and tickles.

The two boys have a lazy morning in bed. 

And a lazy afternoon.

And a lazy evening, too.

And then somehow, they’re going back to bed the same way they woke up that morning.

**

OCTOBER 29TH

“I’m so happy you’re still wearing that,” Louis says over dinner at a quiet restaurant. 

“What?” Harry asks, looking down at himself.

Louis laughs. “The ring, Harry.”

“Oh,” Harry plays with the ring on his finger. “Yeah.”

Harry didn’t realize that’s what Louis was talking about, because he essentially forgot about the ring. It was just something he didn’t notice anymore, like the way you eventually stop needing to think about doing certain things; it had basically become a part of him. 

“I like it,” Louis blushes.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” he smiles. “It’s like you’re carrying around a part of me. Almost like I’m yours.”

Harry feels himself tense up slightly at Louis’ choice of words.

“Yeah,” he nods. “Almost.”

**

OCTOBER 30TH

Louis closes his book loudly, drawing Harry’s attention from where he’s laying in Louis’ lap.

“Can I paint your nails?” 

Harry smiles up at him and nods.

Louis guides Harry to sit up and then gets up from the bed. He walks over to the dresser and opens the drawer where he knows Harry keeps his nail polish. He picks out a colour, and Harry can’t see which one, but he really doesn’t care because Louis picked it. 

Harry gets up to go wash his hands, then comes back to find Louis sitting on the floor, patting the spot across from him. Harry obliges and sits down on the carpet.

Louis works in silence, and Harry watches him the whole time. He watches the look of determination, the way he bites his lip in concentration. Harry sees the way he leans slightly closer each time he moves on to another finger. 

Louis finishes the hand and looks up to meet Harry’s eyes, tilting his head questioningly when he sees Harry looking at him. Harry’s mind flashes back to the start of the month. What would he be doing right now if he hadn’t met Louis? If he hadn’t decided to lie to Niall?

“Just thinking about what I would be doing if I hadn’t met you,” Harry confesses, then adds for clarity, “Whatever it is, I don’t think I would be as happy.”

“Ah ah ah,” Louis turns his head away, putting his hands up between them.

“What?”

Louis motions for Harry to give him his other hand. “You’re not allowed to say things that make me want to kiss you when I’m not done this yet.”

Harry blushes, looking down at the ground. 

Louis keeps one hand covering Harry’s, and uses the other to lift Harry’s chin as he leans forward to give him one lingering kiss.

“Guess you can have both,” Harry laughs.

“Okay, seriously,” Louis laughs, too. “Shut up now.”

He goes back to painting Harry’s nails, and Harry watches him the whole time again. He watches the determined look, and the concentrated lip bite, but this time, Harry sees the way Louis is focused intensely on him and only him.

_There’s nobody else I would want to do this with._

**

OCTOBER 31ST

Harry waits for Louis to finish his last class of the day. He’s been antsy all afternoon. Just wants to get on the road already. 

His phone buzzes from where it’s charging on his bedside table. He flies over and unplugs it. 

_Have you eaten yet??_

_5:27 pm_

_No.. Too excited!_

_5:27 pm_

Louis texts back quickly. 

_Good. Don’t._

_5:28 pm_

And then another text comes in right after.

_We’ll stop for dinner :)_

_5:28 pm_

Harry plugs his phone back into the charger and resumes pacing around his bedroom. He knows this trip is a big deal; a big step. Harry thinks so long he loses track of time. 

He hears Louis walk right into the apartment as if he lives there. (Maybe in some ways, he already does). 

“Are you ready, babe?” He asks with a smile on his face as soon as he sees Harry approaching. 

“So ready,” Harry moves quickly to meet Louis, then doesn’t think twice when he wraps his arms around Louis’ neck and jumps to wrap his legs around him.

“Woah,” Louis says, holding the small of Harry’s back. “You must be really excited.”

Harry tilts his head down and kisses him, loving the feeling as he flexes his thighs to squeeze tightly around Louis. He runs his fingers through Louis’ hair, gripping slightly. 

“God, H,” Louis pulls his head away to look at Harry.

The words seem to be stuck. Louis looks like he wants to say something, Harry recognizes the expression on his face and knows he does, but instead, Louis just looks at him.

“What?” Harry asks, suddenly feeling slightly insecure. He unwraps his legs and lets himself land on the ground, hands still tangled in Louis’ hair. 

“Harry…”

“Yeah?”

And then Louis stops again. He leans in and kisses Harry gently, then pats his cheek jokingly until Harry smiles, just to brush the whole thing off. 

“Let’s just grab our stuff and go, yeah?”

**

Ten minutes later, they’re on the road. Harry scrolls through his phone relentlessly, trying to choose the perfect road trip music. It’s only a two hour drive, but he intends for it to be good. As Louis takes the highway exit, he looks over at Harry.

“How did I get so lucky to have you in my passenger seat?”

_I don’t know, how did I get so lucky to be the one in your passenger seat?_

Harry feels himself blush, and looks out the window when Louis notices. Then he feels Louis’ hand squeezing his thigh. Harry gasps quietly, but when he looks over, Louis’ eyes are on the road. So Harry changes the song and leans back in his seat, content to have Louis’ hands on him.

They sing along to Harry’s music, turning the volume down whenever a natural conversation forms. Before Harry knows it, they’ve almost arrived. (Does time with Louis even exist?)

“Want to eat at this diner?” Louis asks as they drive through a small town that’s on the way. “It looks kind of cute.”

“Sure,” Harry smiles, knowing he would agree no matter where Louis suggests.

Louis pulls into the far lane to take the next turn and circle back to the diner they passed.

“This is ridiculous,” he mutters, and Harry has to stop himself from laughing as Louis tries to navigate the parking. 

“It’s okay, Lou,” he says calmly. “We can walk a little bit. Just park on the road up here,” Harry points to an empty spot on the street a few blocks up. 

Louis drives to where Harry shows him and parks the car. Harry jumps out first, eager to be out of the car to stretch his legs. 

“See? This is fine,” he walks around the car and takes Louis’ hand with one of his own, then pats over both their hands with the other.

Louis just looks at him and shakes his head fondly. 

They walk together, hands swinging casually between them. They’re greeted instantly in the diner.

“Hello,” the hostess says. “Would you like to sit on our upper patio this evening?”

The boys look at each other, still holding hands.

“It’s quite romantic,” she adds, still beaming at them. 

“Sounds great,” Louis answers, and the hostess leads them to an extremely narrow set of stairs. 

“Watch your step,” she cautions them. 

Louis motions for Harry to lead, so he steps in front, keeping Louis’ hand entangled with his. He walks up the stairs with his hand trailing behind him, but he’s alright with that. 

The hostess guides them to a table on a quiet side of the balcony, and they sit across from each other, with an artificial fireplace beside them.

“Your server will be here soon,” she tells them, setting down menus and cutlery before heading back down the stairs.

Once she’s disappeared, Harry stands up.

“Could you just get me a glass of water when someone comes around?”

“Where are you going?” Louis asks, leaning forward in his seat.

“Just back to the car really quick. It’s colder than I thought it would be,” he puts out his hand, silently asking for Louis’ keys. “Just want to grab a sweater.”

Louis shakes his head and stands up. “Here,” he shrugs his sweater off his shoulders. “Just take mine.”

“Are you sure, Lou?”

“Yeah,” Louis smiles. “The car is far away and there’s this fire and you.”

Harry doesn’t ask what he means by that last part. He just smiles and wraps Louis’ sweater around himself. 

The server comes over with water, then rattles off the special of the evening, to which Harry and Louis both agree to order. 

Once they’re alone again, Harry and Louis look at each other. Harry reaches across the table for Louis’ hand.

“You’re very touchy today,” Louis comments, giving Harry his hand, anyways. 

Harry pulls away. “Sorry.”

_He’s right._

_What is going on with me?_

“Haz, no. I didn’t say I didn’t like it.”

Harry looks up again, and watches as Louis opens his arms on the other side of the table.

“Come here, baby.”

That’s all it takes for Harry to scramble out of his chair and around the table to sit in Louis’ lap as they wait for their meal. 

Harry leans back into Louis’ chest as Louis gets his arms wrapped around Harry’s middle. 

“Harry, do you like it when I call you baby?” Louis whispers in the new little bubble they’ve created on the patio as the sun sets. 

Harry tilts his chin up and back to look at Louis. 

“Mmhmm,” he nods slightly, then waits for Louis to meet his lips. 

Louis kisses him quickly, then says, “good.”

They sit in silence after that. Just wrapped up in each others’ arms. Before long, the server is coming back with their plates. Harry gets up with a huff and goes back to sit in his seat on the other side of the table, missing Louis’ arms immediately. 

_This is ridiculous._

_Get a hold of yourself._

“Can I grab you guys anything else for now?”

“I think we’re good,” Louis answers, seeing that Harry is somewhere else in his mind. “Thank you.”

She walks away and they start to eat their rice dish. It’s quiet as they eat, which they do quickly, neither of them realizing how hungry they were until that moment. 

“That was so good,” Louis says, wiping his face with his napkin and placing his cutlery in his dish when he finishes.

“So good,” Harry echoes, then does the same.

When the server comes back, she asks if they’d like to see a dessert menu. Louis accepts, suggesting they take a look and decide after seeing their options. She brings one menu over and then disappears again.

Harry gets up and goes back to take his rightful place in Louis’ lap.

“Just wanted to see,” Harry explains when Louis looks at him in his arms.

“You don’t need a reason,” Louis smiles.

Harry returns the smile, then turns his attention to the menu extended in front of them. 

“That sounds good,” he points. 

“Yeah?”

“Mmhmm,” Harry leans back into Louis’ chest, then tilts his head up to look at him. “Wanna share?”

“Definitely.”

When the server comes back to take their order, Harry doesn’t bother getting up and returning to his seat. He doesn’t get up when she brings the dessert out, either.

“Enjoy, guys,” she says, with a bright look in her eyes.

“Thank you,” Harry and Louis both voice simultaneously. 

Louis takes the spoon and scoops some ice cream and breaks off a piece of the warm cookie. He holds it in front of Harry, and just as Harry is about to close his lips around the spoon, Louis pulls his arm back and puts it in his mouth, instead.

“Hey,” Harry drawls, hitting Louis playfully.

“Sorry,” Louis laughs, his mouth still full. “Had to make sure it was alright before you had it,” he continues after swallowing his bite.

“And? Is it alright?”

“Oh, so alright.”

They both giggle as Louis gets another spoonful, actually letting Harry eat it this time. 

“Mm,” Harry moans around the spoon. “So good,” he adds once Louis has pulled the spoon out of his mouth. 

They take turns taking bites until it’s all gone. Louis pushes the empty plate into the middle of the table and then wraps both arms around Harry again. 

Harry sighs, acknowledging how comfortable he is.

“I feel like I say it a lot,” Louis says, chin resting on Harry’s head. “But I’m so happy with you, Haz.”

“Good,” Harry whispers into his chest. “I’m happy with you, too.”

They watch the sun as it finishes setting on the patio, and eventually, their server brings the bill over. As she leaves to go get the debit machine, Louis stops her.

“Sorry,” he apologizes. “The dessert isn’t on here.”

“I know,” she smiles over her shoulder. “It’s on the house.”

“Oh,” Louis says, still confused. “Thank you.”

She walks away and is back before Harry and Louis can even discuss what just happened. Louis pays the bill, and Harry pulls out cash from his wallet to tip the kind server.

“Have a good night, you two,” she says, as they get up to leave. 

“You too,” they say in sync, as they walk towards the narrow staircase. They wait for a moment as another couple comes up. 

Louis trails behind Harry, placing his hands gently on Harry’s hips as they walk down the stairs. They make their way down, outside, and then to the car. 

When they drive away, Harry’s eyes linger on the diner. He swears that feeling is going to follow them wherever they go.

(It does.)

**

“Well, this is it,” Louis announces, putting the car in park.

“This looks…” Harry looks around. “Fancy.”

“Only the best for my baby,” Louis teases.

Harry examines the exterior of the hotel, then opens the door and hops out. He grabs his duffel bag from the backseat, then closes the door and waits for Louis to join him.

When Louis tucks his arm around Harry’s waist, Harry happily wraps an arm around Louis’ shoulder as they walk towards the entrance. 

They walk in, bumping hips and giggling the whole way to the front desk, only stopping when the concierge catches their attention.

“Oh, no,” he says. 

The two boys look at each other, then back up at the uneasy man.

“I was told you two cancelled.”

“I’m sorry?” Harry asks, shaking his head.

“My apologies, gentlemen. I was told our male couple in the honeymoon suite this weekend had cancelled their reservation.”

“Oh,” Louis reacts quickly. “Well there must have been some sort of miscommunication,” he says politely. 

Harry fights back a laugh by hiding his face in Louis’ shoulder. 

“Well,” the man finally smiles. “I will ensure that the room is made to be ready for the two of you immediately. If you don’t mind waiting down here for a little bit?”

“Of course,” Louis brushes it off. “No worries. Thank you so much for being so…” he trails off, searching for the right word. “Accommodating.”

The man picks up the phone, and the boys walk away, bewildered. As soon as they’re out of earshot, they start to laugh.

“You’re crazy,” Harry says. “We’re gonna get caught.” 

“Maybe,” Louis shrugs. “But hopefully we’ll be gone by the time they figure it out.”

Harry laughs again.

“Now,” Louis takes Harry’s hand. “Let’s go have a drink while we wait,” he pauses. “Husband.”

Harry doesn’t laugh this time, but he follows along as Louis drags him towards the lounge.

By the time they get to the bar, Harry has forgotten all about being nervous to lie and pretend to be married to Louis. So when he drags his chair right next to Louis’ to practically sit on him, it’s not with the intention of putting on a show. He simply does it because it feels natural.

“Well, aren’t you two just the cutest?” The bartender says with a smile as she approaches them.

“Thank you,” Louis answers for them, before turning to look over at Harry right beside him. “What would you like to drink, darling?”

“Um,” Harry looks around the bar, as if to help him decide. 

“He would love something fruity,” Louis says for Harry. “And I’ll just take the same thing. Surprise us.”

Harry smiles and presses his lips just behind Louis’ ear.

Louis lets out the softest of a moan, involuntarily.

Harry pulls his head away, blush rising to his cheeks.

“You got it,” the bartender says smugly, clearly having picked up on the intimate moment between the two boys. “First drink is on the house for you two.”

“Harry,” Louis says through gritted teeth as she walks away. “You can’t just do that,” he adds, jaw muscles slightly more relaxed now.

“I’m sorry,” Harry says softly, turning away from Louis, feeling both embarrassed and far too clingy.

“Woah, woah,” Louis puts a hand on his back. “Hold on, now.”

Harry looks back over to him slowly.

“I’m sorry,” Louis says genuinely. “I shouldn't have said it like that. I’m sorry I made you feel bad.”

“It’s alright, Lou.”

“It’s not alright, Harry. That wasn’t cool. It’s just,” he looks into Harry’s eyes, but Harry feels like he’s not quite there. “You have no idea.”

“N-no idea what?” Harry stammers.

Louis’ stare is piercing now.

“No idea how bad I want you.”

_You have me._

_I’m yours._

The bartender comes back with two pink drinks, leading the boys to break eye contact, and the moment to pass.

**

“I cannot believe,” Louis giggles as they shuffle down the hallway of the top floor, searching for their room. “That we had five of those drinks in an hour.”

“We never even found out what they were,” Harry giggles right back.

“Who cares? They were delicious,” Louis says grandly. “Here’s our room!”

Louis uses the key card he was given to unlock the door. 

“Wait!” Harry yells as he opens it.

“What?”

“You have to carry me through the doorway.”

“Harold, it’s the threshold.”

Before Louis can argue further about the terminology, Harry is jumping into his arms. Louis, of course, catches him and walks into the room cradling Harry in his arms.

“Happy?”

Harry nods as Louis sets him down.

“Good.”

The two finally turn to take in the room. 

“They did it way better than I did,” Louis mumbles. 

“What?”

“The flower petals.”

_That’s not true._

“Harry?”

“Yeah?”

“I might be a little drunk, but I’d really like to kiss you if that’s okay.”

Harry drops his duffel bag emphatically and closes the door behind them as Louis’ hands are already on his cheeks, navigating Harry backwards towards the bed. 

Louis gets Harry to lie down on the bed, following with him, keeping their lips attached the whole way there.

Louis tastes like strawberries and feels like a cool autumn breeze. He presses close until there’s no space left between them. 

Harry brings his hands up and puts them on Louis’ shoulders, pushing him off suddenly. A flash of hurt appears in Louis’ eyes, but he pulls away further, creating a large gap between their bodies. Harry jumps up and bolts quickly to the bathroom. 

Louis only follows when he realizes Harry is throwing up. 

“Oh, baby,” Louis coos, kneeling next to Harry on the cool, tile ground, where he’s hanging his head over the toilet. 

Harry groans as Louis rubs circles into his back. 

“I’m sorry,” Harry would probably laugh if he didn’t still feel so sick. “This is definitely not what you signed up for.”

Louis laughs for him. “I think I kind of did, actually.”

Harry sighs, looking right at Louis. “Why do you always take such good care of me?”

“If only you would just trust how I feel about you.”

Harry wants to press further, ask Louis what he means by that. Instead, he turns his head back towards the porcelain and empties the contents of his stomach as Louis keeps his gentle hands on him, reminding him he’s right there. 

**

“Feeling better, darling?” Louis asks an hour later, after leaving Harry to have a shower and clean himself up. 

“Yeah,” Harry smiles, sitting down on the bed next to Louis. 

“Good, because I want to feed you these chocolate covered strawberries.”

“Oh, do you?” Harry laughs, turning to face Louis, who is already opening the box he found in their mini fridge. 

Louis hums, picking one up by the stem. “I really do.”

Louis crawls to the middle of the bed, kneeling tall, and Harry faces Louis, kneeling just as tall. 

Slowly, Louis raises the strawberry towards Harry’s mouth. With their eyes locked, Harry thinks that of all the things they’ve done, this must be the most intimate. He keeps his eyes on Louis as he leans forward, mouth slightly open, waiting for Louis to close the distance. Louis extends his hand until the strawberry is between Harry’s lips, and he bites down, chocolate crumbling between his teeth, juice squirting from the berry. 

Harry swallows his bite, then looks down at the box beside them.

“Do you want a taste?”

Louis nods, eyes still trained on Harry’s face. 

As Harry goes to open the box and grab another strawberry, Louis leans in, pressing his lips against Harry’s at first, then parts Harry’s lips with his tongue. Harry opens his mouth to allow it, and Louis gets a taste of the chocolate strawberries for himself. 

“God,” Louis breathes, pulling away from Harry.

“What?” Harry asks nervously. 

“There is nothing I enjoy more than kissing you.”

Harry kisses him again, not willing to deprive him of something he just admitted to wanting.

**

“Lou, hurry,” Harry whines, scrolling through his phone on the bed, waiting for Louis to finish up in the bathroom after his shower. 

Harry is exhausted. But he doesn’t want to fall asleep before Louis gets to bed.

“Calm down, babe,” Louis steps out of the bathroom. 

Harry can feel his breath hitch, letting his phone drop to his chest. 

“You okay?” Louis asks, shaking out his hair, letting it fall naturally.

His skin is still damp and glistening. A small towel is wrapped around his waist, leaving his bare torso and legs on full display. Harry knows better, but can’t stop his eyes from running along Louis’ body. They’re not even stolen glances; Louis is watching the whole thing.

Harry clears his throat and locks eyes with Louis again. 

“Just impatient.”

“Okay,” Louis answers smugly, turning back to the bathroom.

He closes the door slowly, maintaining eye contact with Harry for as long as possible.

Harry suddenly doesn’t feel tired anymore. His heart is racing faster than it ever has before. As he tries to get his breathing back to normal and his pulse under control, Louis emerges from the bathroom once again, this time fully dry and wearing sweatpants.

When Louis bounces over to the bed and jumps in next to him, Harry suddenly feels like his body is on fire. Yet still, he lets Louis wrap him up in his arms, skin touching, setting Harry ablaze.

**

NOVEMBER 1ST

Harry wakes up, warmth rising in his chest at the realization that Louis is still pressed close against him. He turns his head, examining Louis’ facial features as he sleeps. Slowly, Harry starts to pull away to get up, but Louis whines, making Harry aware that he’s awake, too.

“Not yet,” he sighs heavily, eyes still closed. 

Harry can’t argue with that. He lays down, backs into Louis and reaches for his arm, pulling it over his waist and stomach.

Louis laughs from behind him.

“What?” Harry asks, half rolling over again.

“Nothing,” Louis continues to giggle. “You’re just cute, that’s all.”

Harry scoffs and rolls back over to face away from Louis, then feels Louis kiss the corner of his shoulder. 

Louis’ hold lulls him back to sleep easily.

**

“Louis? Louis, wake up.” 

Harry is standing beside the bed, now adamant on getting up for the day.

Louis groans, but rolls over to follow the sound of Harry’s voice. He wipes at his eyes, then opens them slowly.

“Good morning, Haz.” 

“Good afternoon, Louis,” he laughs.

“What?” Louis sits up straight. “How long did I sleep? Why didn’t you wake me?”

Harry crawls into Louis’ lap, calming him down quickly as he wraps his arms around Harry’s waist.

“Just couldn’t do it,” Harry smiles, already leaning in to kiss Louis.

_There’s nothing wrong with stolen, playful kisses._

And when Louis melts into his kiss,

_Especially when he agrees._

**

“I’m so excited!”

“Me too, babe,” Louis answers casually, pinching lightly at Harry’s waist as the line starts moving to enter the floor area. 

Louis holds out their tickets for scanning and they make it through security. 

“Did you want something before we go in, Haz?”

Harry shakes his head, content with just standing inside with Louis. 

When they enter the stage area, it’s easy to tell that everyone is trying to squeeze to the front, trying to get as close as possible. Harry and Louis stay at the back, not wanting to push through the crowd. 

“Thank you so much for this, Lou,” Harry says, wrapping an arm around Louis’ shoulder. 

Louis doesn’t say anything, but tucks himself into Harry’s side. They stand pressed together in silence until the opening act comes out. Neither of them have ever heard of the band playing, but they jump around and have fun nonetheless. 

They laugh and they dance and they steal kisses in the dark of the room where nobody can see them. And even if they can, neither of them care, anyways. 

When the opening act closes their set, Louis excuses himself to go to the washroom. He’s gone for a while. 

Harry starts to think.

_Maybe he’s really having fun._

_Maybe I was wrong at the start… Maybe he really likes me._

_Maybe he’ll still want me when this weekend is over._

Louis comes back and presses himself right back up against Harry’s side. The weight is so familiar, it’s like he’s always there.

It’s not long until the headliner comes out. The crowd cheers excitedly, Harry included. He can feel Louis’ eyes on him as he yells into the sea of people. He turns to look at Louis, who just smiles fondly at him.

They jump around to the upbeat songs, groove to the slower ones. Eventually, a familiar tune plays out.

“What are the odds?” Louis whispers in the newfallen silence of the room.

“Crazy low,” Harry whispers back, knowing they could have done a cover of any song, but it just happened to be this one. 

Louis holds his hand out, offering it to Harry. He takes it with grace and ease, unlike the first time they danced to the song, when Harry was still figuring out how to relax around Louis. 

_“If I’m not enough”_

They sway together to the music, unaware of anything going on around them. As they look into each others’ eyes, they’re in their own world. 

_“Or going by your words too much”_

Harry stops paying attention to the words. He puts all of his focus on Louis, not even registering the song playing out loud anymore. He watches Louis watch him, feels his breathing, matches his footwork. Eventually, Harry is snapped out of his trance. 

_“And it’s easy to say”_

“Louis.”

_“That I’m not the same as the other ones”_

“Louis,” Harry begs. “Why are you crying?” 

Louis shakes his head slowly, and Harry’s heart hangs heavy in his chest. 

_“The situation hurts like any other one”_

Louis still doesn’t say anything, so Harry takes the hand not holding Louis’ and wipes at his already half-dried tears. Louis lets go of Harry’s hand then, and wipes at his face right after Harry pulls his hand away. Suddenly, their bodies aren’t connected anywhere and Harry feels lost. 

“I don’t know how we ended up here like this,” Louis whispers.

Harry draws his eyebrows and opens his mouth slightly to say something, but can’t find the words.

“I just don’t want this to end. I want to be enough for you to not walk away.”

_“And I hope you’re still mine”_

Harry wants to love Louis. Wants Louis to love him. 

He opens his arms and Louis falls into them, like he was waiting for Harry’s touch again. They hold each other, and it feels new. There’s a new honesty, a new sense of raw emotion cracking Harry’s heart open having Louis in his arms. 

_“God knows I need your love”_

**

Their emotion and passion spill over past the end of the show, as they climb in the backseat of the taxi to their hotel. Louis tells the driver where they’re going, and then falls back into a silence. Harry puts his hand on Louis’ thigh and squeezes gently. He turns to say something to break the quiet, but closes his mouth when he sees Louis bite down on his lip. Harry looks down and realizes Louis is hard.

Suddenly, the tension is palpable. 

Louis notices that Harry has realized, so he shamelessly covers himself with his hand. Slowly, Harry covers Louis’ hand with his own, pressing down gently. Louis hisses quietly. 

“Almost there,” Harry whispers in his ear, wet lips brushing against Louis’ skin. 

It feels like forever until they actually get back to the hotel. Harry pulls cash out of his wallet, practically throws it at the driver, then pulls Louis by the hand out the door and up the entrance. They make it to the elevator, and stand alone as the door closes behind them, Louis still trying to cover himself discreetly. As they climb the floors, Harry turns to Louis.

“Can I kiss you?”

“God,” Louis hisses, then pushes Harry up against the wall by his shoulders. Harry’s back hits the wall with a thud, but their lips remain connected. 

Louis breathes Harry in and out. 

The ding makes them jump apart, then move quickly through the hallway and into their room. 

Once inside, Harry moves closer to Louis immediately, but Louis stops him with a gentle hand on his chest.

“Let’s slow down,” he says, taking Harry’s hand and guiding him to the bed. 

Harry follows, and they kneel together in the middle of their giant bed. For a moment, they just stare at each other, trying to figure out what exactly is happening between them. Harry tries to read Louis the same way he knows Louis is reading him. 

Finally, _finally,_ Louis presses his mouth against Harry’s, and Harry relaxes right into it, lips going pliant to Louis’ control. Harry had never known before what it felt like to be kissed, but now, he never wants to go back to not having it. 

Harry uses his hands to slide up and down Louis’ arms, and Louis pulls his mouth off of Harry’s before attaching it to his jaw, kissing in a line from there to his neck. Louis tugs on the bottom of Harry’s shirt, and Harry puts his arms in the air in response, allowing Louis to pull it over his head once he detaches himself from where he’s biting gently at Harry’s neck.

Harry shivers as Louis admires his chest. Then, he remembers what he’s doing and reaches to take Louis’ shirt off. Louis helps him as Harry leans down to kiss at Louis’ stomach. Louis tosses his shirt aside, then tangles his fingers in Harry’s hair, tugging lightly.

Harry lets out a soft moan at the pull of his hair, and Louis’ eyes light up, using his hands to guide Harry back up to a kneeling position. Louis leans in and kisses along Harry’s collarbones. As he does, he pushes forward slightly, to let Harry know he wants him to lay down. Louis follows him down, lips staying attached to his chest the whole time. He pulls away for a moment, before slipping his hand down the front of Harry’s pants, cupping him through his boxers.

Harry gasps at the contact, and looks at Louis, whose eyes are asking permission when his voice fails to do so. Harry nods, and Louis rubs against him harder, making Harry go hard almost instantly.

Louis pulls Harry’s sweatpants down slowly, kissing all along one leg as he works his way down, then back up the other as he comes back for his boxers. Louis gives a gentle tug at Harry’s boxers, waiting for Harry to give him the go ahead.

“Please,” Harry squirms, craving Louis’ mouth on him again. 

Louis kisses Harry’s inner thighs as he slides his boxers down. 

“You’re so beautiful, baby,” Louis whispers. “Can I get my mouth on you?”

Harry would love that. Knows he would. But instead:

“Lou, can you fuck me?”

And when Louis’ mouth opens slightly and he looks like he might be frozen in place, he adds, “Please. I want you to.” 

“I, um,” Louis stammers. “Yeah. Okay. As long as you’re sure.”

Harry reaches up to put his hand on Louis’ cheek. “Never been so sure.”

“Okay, let me get my lube,” Louis scrambles off the bed to dig through his bag, coming back quickly with a bottle and a condom in his hand.

He opens it, squeezes some onto two fingers, then closes the bottle and puts it next to him on the bed. 

“What?” He asks with a smile, noticing the smug look on Harry’s face.

“You just happened to pack both lube and condoms for this trip?”

“Oh, shut up,” Louis laughs, pink spreading in his cheeks. Quickly, he goes back to being serious. “Promise you’ll tell me if you want me to stop?”

“I promise,” Harry says, voice airy with desire, anxious for Louis to get his hands on him again.

Louis adjusts Harry’s legs, bending his knees before circling his lubed up fingers around Harry’s hole. Harry squirms under the cold sensation, but forces his hips down onto the bed. Slowly, Louis presses one finger inside and Harry’s hands fly down to hold the sheets.

“Oh my god,” he says.

“Still okay?” Louis asks, feeling how tight Harry is around his finger.

“Yeah,” Harry answers, body still unable to stay still as Louis slowly pumps one finger inside of him. 

Louis pays close attention to Harry; watches his face contort and sees the change from pain to pleasure, feels his muscles relax in his touch. Louis adds a second finger. 

Harry lets out a low, guttural moan. 

Louis leans down and throws Harry’s leg over his shoulder, and pulls one finger out, replacing it with his tongue. He uses the free hand to knead Harry’s cheeks as he keens. 

“Louis,” Harry breathes out. 

Louis continues to taste and tease as Harry twists his body with every motion. Louis pulls his head away and puts his second finger back where it was before, moving up to press a kiss into Harry’s hip. 

When he curls his fingers, Harry actually screams, and Harry watches as Louis smiles in realization. 

“Is this still okay?” Louis asks, continuing to curl his fingers, watching Harry’s body shake in the bed.

“Yes, don’t stop,” Harry begs, legs shaking, lip quaking, body covered in a sheen layer of sweat. 

“Wish you could see yourself like this, baby,” Louis says in a raspy voice, pupils blown wide. “You’re beautiful.”

Harry isn’t able to give much warning before he comes, body finally stopping its incessant movement, muscles relaxing, mouth hanging open and eyes closed with pleasure.

“Holy shit,” Louis says, pulling his fingers out of Harry. “Untouched,” is all he can say.

“Sorry,” Harry mumbles. 

Louis takes two fingers and swipes them across Harry’s chest, then puts them in his mouth, unashamedly sucking them clean and pulling them out with a pop.

“Oh my god,” Harry says, eyes following Louis’ fingers. “I’m gonna get hard again just watching you. Can you still fuck me?” 

Louis leans down and kisses Harry filthily, who lays there and takes it, tasting his own come. 

“Yes,” Louis nods. “I would like that.”

Louis crawls off of Harry and pulls his own sweatpants and boxers down, tossing them onto the floor without looking, making Harry laugh.

Harry looks at him, flushed and pink, as he climbs back on top of Harry, wraps a hand around himself and pumps quickly. Harry watches as Louis circles his hips, throwing his head back in pleasure as he touches himself. 

_He’s so pretty._

Harry can feel himself getting hard again as Louis grinds his hips down into him, smirking casually as he does it.

“Okay,” Harry groans. “Please.”

Louis tears the foil on the condom and rolls it on smoothly, before pumping himself again with some lube. 

“How do you want to do this?” Louis asks.

“I don’t know,” Harry answers honestly. “Just wanna be able to see you.”

“Okay,” Louis leans down and kisses him quickly, before pulling back again. “Okay.”

Slowly, Louis pulls one of Harry’s legs over his shoulder, and keeps the other bent at the knee. He carefully lines himself up, using one hand to hold the base of his dick and the other to ground Harry, reminding him that he’s there the whole time. 

Louis presses inside Harry slowly and lets out a low moan as Harry does the same. Harry knew it would stretch painfully at first, just like Louis knew Harry would be tight around him. Still, neither of them were prepared for how good it would feel as they connected.

“Okay,” Louis says, stopping his forward motion. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” Harry smiles up at him, body already adjusting to the hot sensation. “I can handle it.”

Louis bottoms out and pauses, hands running up and down Harry’s thighs. “You ready?”

Harry nods, knowing he’ll never forget this moment and how gentle Louis has been.

Louis starts to slowly roll his hips. Harry moans and tries to match his rhythm. Louis kisses the moans right out of his mouth, panting against his lips. He bites Harry’s lip harshly, and slowly increases the pace of his thrusts.

“You look so good, Harry. Doing so good,” Louis praises him. 

“Feels so good,” Harry replies, fingernails digging into Louis’ back. 

Harry continues to roll his own hips, figuring out how to move in time with Louis.

“Oh god,” he groans, knowing Louis has found that spot again. 

Louis smiles and starts to thrust faster, hitting that spot over and over. 

Harry moans loudly, unabashedly.

“Harry, I’m close.” Louis warns him, and wraps his hand around Harry’s leaking cock, twisting his wrist as he continues to move his hips. 

Harry comes for the second time as Louis whispers praise in his ear. Louis works him all the way through it, then pulls out of Harry as he gets more sensitive. 

“I wanna taste you,” Harry says, not yet fully recovered from his own orgasm. 

“You’re a dream,” Louis whispers as he peels the condom off and gets a hand around himself, wincing at the feeling.

Harry can’t find the strength to sit up and suck him off like he wanted to, so he simply sticks out his tongue, hoping Louis will get himself off. 

As soon as Louis sees this, he’s shaking with an orgasm, Harry’s name on the tip of his own tongue as he comes up Harry’s chest and onto his extended tongue. Harry smiles and licks his lips when Louis’ done, swallowing all that he has. Again, Louis chases after it, kissing Harry and licking into his mouth, tasting himself on Harry’s tongue. 

Harry licks his lips when Louis pulls away.

“You’re so beautiful, Harry,” Louis whispers, still hovering over him. “But you’re also the hottest thing that’s ever happened to me.”

Before Harry can answer, Louis is standing up and walking to the bathroom to get a washcloth to clean them up. He comes back and wipes Harry’s body. Slowly, gently. Harry watches Louis, his brain still hazy from the whole ordeal. Louis notices and leans forward, pressing his lips to Harry’s forehead. He tosses the cloth away and Harry doesn’t know where it lands. He doesn’t care much, either, once Louis lays down next to him.

“I’ll never forget that,” Louis whispers, tucking himself into Harry’s side, positioning himself with his head on Harry’s chest.

Harry is already falling asleep.

_I’ll never be able to forget you._

_Please don’t leave me._

**

NOVEMBER 2ND

Harry wakes up to the sound of the shower running. Mindlessly, he throws the covers off and walks over to the bathroom. The door is open slightly, so he walks in and pulls the curtains back enough to step inside.

“Woah,” Louis jumps slightly, startled by Harry’s appearance. 

Harry doesn’t say anything as he drops to his knees and gets his mouth on Louis for the first time. He wraps one hand around him and meets it to his mouth. Louis moans Harry’s name and tugs gently on his hair, making Harry moan, too. Their noises blend together until Harry can’t tell which ones are coming from him and which ones are Louis’. 

Louis speaks incoherently, praising Harry the best he can. 

“God, Harry, so good,” he breathes out. “I’m close.”

And that makes Harry realize he’s close, too. But he doesn’t want to get off before Louis. Harry hums and continues to work at it until Louis is warning him again. Harry doesn’t listen. Just swallows around Louis as he comes hard and fast down his throat. Harry feels a strange sense of satisfaction, quickly diminished by the realization that he’s so hard it hurts. 

He stands up and Louis kisses him hard. Sucks on his swollen, tingling lips. Harry gasps into his mouth when Louis wraps a hand around him, and before he can say anything, he’s releasing between their bodies, into Louis’ hand.

Louis keeps kissing him under the stream of the water. 

“Louis…” Harry pulls away first.

“Shh,” Louis smiles. “Let’s get you all clean again, baby.” 

Harry can’t argue with that. So he lets Louis wash his hair. And scrub his body with the loofa. And towel dry him when they’re done. He doesn’t understand it; somehow they’re both dressed again and sitting on the bed and Harry doesn’t even know how they got there. His mind is running and running and running, but every thought is all soft and clouded. 

“Wanna just take the complimentary breakfast on our way out?”

“Mmhmm,” Harry nods. 

They pack their bags in silence and something feels different. Harry doesn’t know what, and he thinks maybe Louis doesn’t, either. They stop in the hotel lobby, grab some breakfast to take on the road, and walk out to Louis’ car. They toss their bags in the backseat and then get in the car, ready to leave. Harry leans back and throws his feet on the dash, just hoping Louis will have something witty to say about it, like always.

He says nothing.

**

After driving in silence for what feels like forever, but was realistically probably only fifteen minutes, Louis breaks the silence. The silence, that for the first time ever, Harry doesn’t find comfortable.

“So tomorrow makes it one month.”

_That’s what he decides to say?_

Harry doesn’t know what to say.

“Yeah.” 

They fall into a silence again. 

Harry goes to sleep. At least that way he’ll know the silence is inevitable. 

**

“Haz,” Louis shakes him gently. “We’re home.”

_Home._

Harry looks out the window to see where home is. It’s his own building. He undoes his seatbelt and gets out of the car, grabs his bag, and waits for Louis to walk around. They walk together, Louis following Harry all the way up to his apartment. He pauses outside the door, unsure of whether or not he should follow Harry inside. 

“Are you coming inside?” Harry asks, almost impatiently. The tension is bothering him, probably more than it should. 

“Oh,” Louis seems surprised by the invitation. “Sure.”

Louis steps inside and kicks his shoes off, then drops his bag on the floor by the coat rack. Harry can’t take it anymore. He turns to say something, anything, that will make things like before. He’ll apologize if he needs to, though he isn’t sure what he did. He’ll beg for forgiveness if that’s what it takes for Louis to meet his eyes and speak to him.

“So what do you think? Am I worth it?”

But those words didn’t come out of Harry’s mouth. 

This is the moment where it all clicks in Harry’s mind. Everything comes together; from the confession in the laundromat to his vulnerability at the concert.

“No,” Harry mutters. “No, no, no,” he repeats over and over, trying to forget the realization that just hit him.

Louis steps closer to Harry. 

“I get it now, Louis. I finally put the pieces together. This is and always has been about you and why your ex left you,” Harry snaps. “You were just using me to make yourself feel better.”

This is not how he wanted this conversation to go. He was ready to do whatever it would take to keep Louis. But now… Now he thinks maybe Louis never planned on keeping Harry.

“Harry…”

“Don’t,” Harry says strongly, stepping away from Louis. “Please,” he adds softer, voice breaking as his heart shatters into a million little pieces that float up to get lodged in his throat.

“Haz, please. Maybe you’re right. At the start, I had my own selfish reasons for wanting to do this,” Louis starts to cry, but doesn’t let it stop him. “Yes, I wanted to prove to myself that I could be worth it. But then you just…” He trails off. “You showed me I was. And there is nothing more worth it than you.”

Harry starts to pace. “This whole time I was worried that you were going to walk away when the month was over. But now I see that this whole time you were just trying to make yourself feel like enough because of your stupid ex. You wanted me to be happy so you could feel good. You kept telling me how happy you were with me, but it’s only because you knew I was happy. You used me, Louis.”

Louis approaches Harry calmly and swipes his thumb under his eye, and Harry hadn’t even realized he was crying, too. Harry shrinks, tilting his chin towards his chest. 

Harry slides the ring he’s been wearing since the day they met off his finger. 

“Haz, please…” Louis’ voice waivers as he realizes what Harry is doing. “I really thought you were having fun.”

“I was, Louis.” 

“Then why are you walking away from it?” 

Harry holds the ring out with one hand and uses the other to take Louis’ hand and hold it in front of him. He places the ring in Louis’ palm and rolls his fingers slowly, covering Louis’ closed fist with his hand. 

“Because I thought it was real,” Harry looks Louis in the eyes, not backing down. 

The thought that any of this would hurt Louis had never even crossed Harry’s mind. But Louis is clearly hurt by Harry’s words. And Harry knows he did that. Not only did he do it, but he did it intentionally. Maybe he pushed a little too far. Or maybe he’s just deflecting his own pain onto the boy standing in front of him. 

The boy standing in front of him, that Harry really cares about. The one that cares about Harry, too, but for all the wrong reasons. 

“Harry, I promise. I was being real with you the entire time. How can you not see how I feel about you?” Louis asks, raising his voice slightly. 

Harry draws his hand back from where he was still holding Louis’. 

“We agreed on one month,” Harry says quietly, ignoring what Louis had said. 

Louis takes another step back. “You’re right. I told you that if you weren’t happy, we’d go our separate ways.”

“Louis, whether or not you were being real with me, you never pushed me once during this whole thing. You always made me feel so cared for.” 

“Honestly, I think all you need is a little push right now. But it’s not the time for me to start. I’m sorry, Harry.”

_Why is he the one apologizing now?_

“What are you sorry for?”

“I’m sorry I let you down,” he turns to walk away, but then stops. “And I’m really sorry that I ever came across as anything but genuine. I’m sorry that my love for you came across as selfish.”

Louis turns and walks out the door of Harry’s apartment, probably for the last time. 

It’s a shame they didn’t quite make it to one month.

**

NOVEMBER 3RD

Harry goes on with his life.

He made a decision. 

And he’s okay.

**

NOVEMBER 4TH

Harry skips his classes.

He works from home instead of going into the office. 

He pretends to be sleeping when Niall knocks on his door, asking if he’s okay.

(Harry thinks maybe he’s not actually okay.) 

**

NOVEMBER 5TH

Harry cries. He doesn’t know why it hurts so much.

When he goes to his night class, he can’t bring himself to focus on taking notes.

He slips out early and starts to walk towards Louis’ apartment building, then changes his mind and goes home, instead.

**

NOVEMBER 6TH

“Harry!” Niall doesn’t knock as he barges into Harry’s bedroom.

“What?” Harry looks over from where he’s laying in bed, unfazed.

“Get up.”

“What?”

Niall moves to the edge of Harry’s bed. “You need to stop moping.”

“Why?” Harry whines. 

“Harry, you hurt him. Not the other way around. He wanted to be with you.”

Harry sits up next to Niall. “How would you know?”

“He was upset when you walked away, right? Tried to fight a little?”

“I guess, yeah.”

“Exactly. He was upset because he didn’t want you to walk away.”

Harry remains silent.

“So either do something about it, or stop acting like you’ve been wronged.”

**

NOVEMBER 7TH

Harry decides to do something about it.

“I don’t know if this is such a good idea, H…”

“Trust me, Niall. This is probably exactly what I need.”

“How would you know that?” Niall laughs.

Harry shrugs. “I don’t know. I’m just hoping it works for me like it does for everyone else.”

**

Harry walks into the club, intent on having a few drinks and hopefully a good time. He forgets, however, how much he dislikes the crowd and the noise and the smell and the heat. 

“No, stop it!” Harry hears someone yell from the centre of the room.

“Stop, I’m fine!” The same voice yells out, only this time, Harry recognizes that voice.

_No way._

_Do not go over there._

_This isn’t what you came for._

Going against everything in him telling him not to do it, Harry walks towards Louis.

“Ohmygod,” Harry mutters in one breath, upon seeing some guy jostling drunk Louis around, being far too aggressive.

“Hey,” he barks out. “Let him go.”

Harry puts a hand on Louis’ arm, holding him steady.

“Haz?” 

Upon realizing Louis knows who Harry is, the man huffs and walks away.

“Come on, Lou,” Harry keeps a firm but gentle grip on his arm. “Let’s get you home.”

**

Louis falls asleep almost as soon as Harry gets his seatbelt on. 

As Harry drives towards Louis’ apartment, he can’t stop himself from looking over at the boy in his passenger seat repeatedly. 

Though, it doesn’t quite compare to watching him sleep, knowing he was his.

**

Zayn and Liam are both standing at the door when Harry knocks.

“Harry?” Liam asks.

Then Zayn follows with, “what are you doing here?”

Neither of them look too happy to see Harry.

“I went out and he just happened to be there and he was drunk and somebody wasn’t treating him right and so I decided to just take him home instead and,” Harry takes a breath. “Can I just come in? Put him to bed?”

Zayn immediately shakes his head, looking at Louis, leaning all his weight on Harry.

“I don’t think that’s such a good idea.”

“Relax, Z,” Liam says, much calmer sounding.

Liam takes a step back, guiding Zayn with him.

Harry nods at them, then steps inside with Louis still using him for balance. 

“Let’s get you to bed,” Harry whispers, slipping off his shoes, but allowing Louis to stay in his. 

“Okay,” Louis sighs, then tries to repeat what Harry said, but mixes up the words a little, “Let’s go to bed.”

Harry lays Louis down in his bed as he giggles. He takes off his shoes and tucks them under the bed, then takes off his socks, knowing Louis hates to sleep with them on. 

Louis pulls his feet away and whines. 

“What's the matter?” Harry asks, as he slowly raises the covers to tuck Louis in.

“I miss you,” Louis drawls, reaching for Harry’s hand. “Don’t leave again.”

Harry looks down at their joined hands, then back at Louis’ pleading face.

He clears his throat, gently taking his hand away. “I’m going to go get you some water.”

When he walks out of Louis’ room, Zayn and Liam are sitting on the couch in the living room. They wave him over.

Harry glances back towards Louis’ bedroom, then goes over to the couch. 

“Yeah?”

“Harry,” Zayn says sternly. “I’m sorry for being so cold before. I can’t be mad at you for making your own decisions.”

“Um,” Harry grabs the back of his neck uncomfortably. 

“But,” Zayn continues. “I just want to know why. It really seemed like you liked him, too.”

“I did,” Harry answers honestly. “I do,” he corrects himself. 

Zayn and Liam follow his movement as he paces on the carpet, waiting for an answer.

“I don’t know,” He says finally, avoiding eye contact with both boys. “I was so upset when I realized that he had been doing it for himself, it just made it feel less real.”

A look of realization spreads across both Zayn and Liam’s faces.

“So he did tell you about his ex…” Zayn says, mostly to himself. “But did he tell you about after?”

Harry shakes his head.

The two boys on the couch share a look. 

“Maybe it’s not our place to tell him, babe.” Liam says quietly, glancing over at Harry, still standing in front of them.

“Please,” Harry urges.

_Give me something._

Zayn caves. 

“He wasn’t okay, Harry. His self esteem was ruined. He spent a whole year with his ex, and then he told him he wasn’t worth it. That really hurt. He was hurt for a really long time,” Zayn pauses. “He locked himself up, forgot how to take care of himself.”

Harry had no idea.

“We couldn’t get him to do anything. Finally, we convinced him to go back to the team to play again. It was a big first step.”

“And then?” Harry asks when Zayn looks like he doesn’t have anything else to say.

“And then he met you on the pitch.”

A tense silence hangs in the air.

“Harry?” Louis calls, whining in his bedroom.

Harry looks at Zayn and Liam.

“Now you know,” Liam says softly. “He might have been a little self-serving in the start. But Harry,” Liam pauses, making sure Harry is looking at him. “You made him feel like he was worth it. He really cares about you. I’ve never seen him so happy.”

“Can I show you something?” Zayn asks suddenly.

Harry just nods.

Zayn gets up and walks into his room, then comes back holding a book in his hands. 

“I made this as a gift for Louis. I was going to give it to him once you guys passed the one month mark,” hesitantly, he hands the book over to Harry. “But I think maybe you should take a look, instead.”

Harry looks up and Zayn shoots him a small smile. He looks back down at the book in his hands, then opens it to the first page. It’s a collection of pictures of Louis with Zayn and Liam, but he looks like a ghost of himself. He’s not the Louis that Harry knows. 

When Harry turns the page, he notices immediately that it’s dated October 3rd. And there’s a familiar picture of him in the library plastered in the middle of the page. On the other side is a picture of Louis, smiling for the camera in his own apartment, a photo obviously taken by Zayn after he got home. It’s a noticeable difference from the previous page. 

Harry continues to rifle through the pages, holding back tears. There’s pictures he remembers clearly, as well as some he didn’t even know were taken. 

He lets out a choked sound when he comes across one in particular. He’s on the couch with Louis, head in his lap watching television, and Louis is looking down at Harry.

Harry looks up at Zayn, realizing it must have been him who took this picture in secret. Zayn just shrugs. Harry gets to the last page, where there’s a collection of photos from their roadtrip; the diner, the concert, the honeymoon suite that certainly didn’t belong to them. 

Harry closes the book silently and his soft sniffles fill the air.

“Listen,” Zayn finally says. “He’s absolutely terrified…” Zayn drifts off, but still doesn’t give Harry the chance to ask why. 

“Because he knows he loves you, Harry.”

Harry lets the tears fall, but wipes them away, anyways.

“So,” Zayn glances over to Louis’ bedroom. “Go on.”

Harry gets up, still trying to contain himself. He goes to get Louis a glass of water and an Advil, unable to stop thinking about what he was just told.

When he walks back into Louis’ room, he’s laying under the blankets exactly how Harry left him.

“This is for tomorrow morning,” Harry puts the tablet on Louis’ bedside table. “But have some of this now.”

Louis sits up halfway, and Harry tilts the glass towards his mouth. Louis sips slowly, and Harry puts the cup next to the Advil when he’s finished. 

Harry runs a hand through Louis’ hair.

“Will you sleep with me?” Louis asks drowsily. 

_Just say no._

“Okay.”

Harry crawls over Louis, whose hands reach out, running along Harry’s body frantically. Harry easily soothes Louis by laying down next to him and pressing a soft kiss into his muffled hair. 

When he feels Louis’ breath go steady, Harry types out a cryptic text to send to Niall.

_Doing something about it. See you tomorrow._

_11:21 pm_

**

NOVEMBER 8TH

Harry wakes up before the sun rises. 

He slips out into the light of dawn.

He leaves Louis’ apartment that morning with intent.

**

NOVEMBER 9TH

_You’re not supposed to do anything on Sundays._

But Harry has to do something today. Needs to get Louis back.

“Woah,” Niall says after dinner. “Why do you look so eager?”

“Need to go talk to Louis.”

“Finally!” Niall yells. “I have been waiting,” he pauses dramatically. “All week. You two were made for each other. Can’t believe you let him go to begin with.”

Harry nods along.

“Go get him, Harry.”

Harry is out the door before Niall even finishes his sentence. 

**

Harry pounds on the door. Zayn answers it quickly.

“Where is he?” Harry blurts out. 

“Harry…”

“I fucked up, Zayn. I need to talk to him.”

Zayn can’t stop the smile from creeping onto his face. 

“He’s at the pitch.”

Harry spins on his heels, heading back towards the stairs he just ran up moments ago.

“Harry!” Zayn calls after him, waiting until Harry stops and turns around. “I’m glad you came around.”

**

Harry speed walks to the campus field. He would run, but honestly, he’s run enough for the day and he doesn’t want to be sweaty and gross when he finally gets to see Louis. 

He walks along the edge of the field, watching Louis move with the ball by himself. Harry can’t wait any longer.

“Louis!” 

Louis looks up, an unreadable expression on his face. Almost like the day they met. 

“What are you doing here?” Louis asks sharply after abandoning the ball and walking over to Harry.

“Zayn told me you’d be here.”

“That doesn’t answer my question,” Louis turns to face him. “What do you want, Harry?”

_I want you._

“Tell me you still want me.”

Louis opens his mouth to answer, but Harry continues.

“Tell me I’m an idiot for letting you walk out the door. Tell me I was wrong, and that I should have pushed myself, for once. Tell me whatever you want, but if you found someone else, do me a favour and don’t tell me that.”

Again, Louis opens his mouth to answer, but then his facade breaks and he starts to laugh instead. “I’m sorry,” he says, hunched over with his hands on his knees. “You think I found someone else?”

“Well, I don’t know!” Harry exclaims exasperatedly, not finding this funny like Louis. 

“Harry,” Louis stands up straight, regaining his composure.

“Look, Louis,” Harry wants to let Louis speak, but he feels like he has so much more to say. “I lost my focus. But once you were gone, everything was so clear. I couldn’t stop wondering where you were or what you were doing. Every time I had some sort of news, I realized you were the first person I wanted to tell. I realized that I didn’t just break up with my boyfriend, I broke up with the person that became my best friend. I just-”

“Harry,” Louis cuts him off. “You can stop.”

Harry looks down, defeated. 

“No,” Louis puts a finger under Harry’s chin and lifts it up. “Look.”

Louis reaches down the front of his shirt and pulls out the necklace he’s wearing, allowing it to dangle in front of his chest. 

“Is that…?”

“Yes,” he says, unclipping the chain from behind his neck. “I told myself that if you could wear it the whole time we were together, then I could wear it until we found each other again, and you were ready for whatever you want this to be.”

Louis lets the ring slide down the chain until it lays freely in his hand.

“Would you like it back, Harry?” 

Harry nods, holding out his hand, allowing Louis to slide the ring back onto his middle finger. 

“Okay, I’m going to push you a bit here, Harry,” Louis says seriously. “You have to be completely straightforward with me, right now. What exactly is it that you want to happen here?”

Harry smiles, and finally says what he had thought the first time Louis asked him that question when he arrived.

“I want you. I want us.”

Louis smiles back before launching himself into Harry’s arms. Harry holds onto him tight, not wanting to ever let go again. 

Just a little over a month ago, they stood in this same spot, meeting for the first time. The boy with the piercing blue eyes and the soft fringe and sharp collar bones, following along with Harry’s lie to save him from embarrassment. 

Maybe none of it was a lie.

Louis Tomlinson will always be Harry’s first relationship, and, if Harry’s really lucky, Louis Tomlinson might just be his only. 

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much :) please leave kudos if you enjoyed, and feel free to comment and let me know what you thought !!! 
> 
> ALSO if you enjoyed, you can reblog the [tumblr post](https://lt2soon.tumblr.com/post/625358885269749760/wanna-be-somebody-to-someone-is-this-okay-i))


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